Is he trying to be sociable or confrontational? I struggle understanding due to my label, which is “special”, I still must make a decision and cultivate in some direction, My intention is kindness and compassion, Others may react differently to the same situation,

If I ever publish a book, I hope it gives most who read it a different look, On autism than the shooter of Sandy Hook,

I have a “moral compass”, Empathy I know I have experienced, Yes, really! There’s only so much I can do to make you believe me, Whatever proof is there I can’t make anyone think rationally..

I also struggle in experience, I know it’s more convenient to dismiss, But the more we do this, New rewarding understanding we’ll less likely experience,

Quarantine has opened up to me brutal insensitivity online all the time, I’m aware that trying to convince others is a waste of time but I get sucked in almost all the time, The hostility painfully sticks with me virtually all the time, It’s sad most didn’t “wake up” this time..

My unmet social needs become more unmet through other’s false uncompassionate judgment, My trust in others is rare for their assistance with my needs being met, Regardless, my propensity for misunderstanding and low confidence as a result makes me turn to others for answers.. If it’s gaslighting I most probably won’t fucking know since I’m a learning challenged pushover.. who often gets desperate for a final “secure” answer,

For one.. if this makes sense.. since we can’t predict the formation of a new virus I wouldn’t do research to create a vaccine to make lots of money incase a new virus were to spread, Incase you didn’t know “gain-of-function” research is a type of disease testing that is very risky apparently,

Before the virus spread they were testing it on bats which was funded by a US organization led by Dr. Fauci in Wuhan, Maybe I’m wrong? But this seems to be the obvious coronavirus cause and to those who still believe some other bullshit like COME ON!!?

You can look up “gain-of-function” to get more information of how disease testing may function.. I’d like to improve my gain-of-function, I’ve tried gaining better functioning.. I keep failing, Test scores were more emphasized than learning, remembering, discovering, appreciating, improving, and advancing, but made existing feel like a “means to an end” in the end,

I know I’m not as smart and as knowledgeable and courageously responsible as Dr. Anthony Fauci but as for anyone who’s far more successful than me.. Is it really that hard to do the right thing? Or is funding risky research to make an insane amount of money off of a vaccine just too tempting?

I’m not trying to be mean, But I want understanding, For my own as well as the world’s gain of functioning,

You can probably predict where I’m going with this rhyme again but look.. We don’t want another this, that and Sandy Hook.. Covid was another opportunity to take off the work order blinders to take a deeper look, At how we could gain more moral existential, less bullying and judgmental functioning, But speaking for most of us we fucking didn’t,

As for existential shit.. There’s also climate change, artificial intelligence, the threat of nuclear war, systemic racism.. you know them, and we can’t just refer to standard history textbooks due to their emphasis on American exceptionalism.. Ordinary people’s experience comes from ordinary people, not the powerful,

I feel we can use some reasonable “gain-of-function” in the system that’s not too risky but gets us out of our comfort zone safely, Even though many might assume that I “don’t have a moral compass and empathy”, it would be sad if humanity went extinct completely when it could have been avoided clearly..

And for those who don’t like me, I’m well aware “it’s not all about me”, I’m well aware I struggle with not perpetuating hypocrisy, I’m well aware there’s only so much you can do to help me, and that taking care of yourself is priority,


I wish for more positive energy, Which will help gain better functioning while physically existing, And make it less and less likely of more disasters happening, But we really must remember perpetual cultivating and sustaining, We create our functioning but we must remember that for maintaining and improving

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