Holding On

Even if they’re labeled and dismissed “equally”,
Regardless,
I do NOT want to live a life among people who hate being around me,
I do NOT want to live a life among people who constantly feel irritated “because of me”,
I just get offended too easily,
And they have nothing helpful to offer me,

I do NOT want to work for people who show ZERO appreciation of me,
I do NOT want to open up to those who just criticize me,

Others’ lack of empathy,
Sometimes deeply hurts me,

I do NOT want to feel as a punching bag,
Who just takes and takes it,
With ZERO benefit,

I just do NOT want to keep taking it,
It just makes me feel more like shit..,
And others just seem to feel I need “more of it”..,

Even though I may be very different,
I still wish more others would be more inclusive and compassionate,
And I struggle to make peace,
With the reality,
That I just,
Can NOT make them do that,

I’m just trying to remember to focus on longer exhalations,
To release more internal tension,
That seems to keep holding me back,
That increases chances of me flying IRreparably off track,
When the weight I fail to let go of,
Of all the emotional pain I UNconsciously consume,
Becomes too much to carry,

And well,
I feel I must keep trying to make peace,
With feeling forced to be around and work with and for,
Those who hate me,
Those who view me as no more,
Than a loser,
Than a number,
Those who view me as no more than a means to an end of their insatiable excessive impulsive desires,

Shit..,

I’m just struggling to stay strong,
To keep holding on,
As I continue along