(Genre: A poem (I guess..(?)))

Speaking for what I have come to define as what “myself” is trying to say..,
As of now my perceptions appear to tell me,
If I’m properly interpreting them,
Which is I guess that..(?),
I feel that;

The more internal pressure,
That my mind builds within myself,
Through obsessive fearful thinking,
Of needing sleep for my survival,

The more I’ll fear of NOT sleeping,
While therefore remaining awake,

Increasing chances of losing impulse control of excessive impulsive intake,
Of stimulants which I’ll feel a need to remain productive,
That’ll increase chances of then,
Becoming forced some form of seductive treatment to try to readjust myself,
That results in falling asleep,
Like falling off a cracking and shattering precipice,
At the most horrific time and place imaginable,

Unless,
I remind myself to,
Fear sleep less,
As I notice the fearful obsessive thinking of NOT sleeping pass,
While remaining less caught up in its current that continues to try to wake me up at worsening times and locations

(Genre: Short Post Apocalyptic Play (I guess..(?))),

May artificially programmed computer algorithms NOT distort this as you read this, if you want to read this.. Thanks!!

For mature audiences Only

 Okay, here is another random creative hypothetical mental dialogue that I wanted to share, and as always, thanks for reading this! Okay so, meanwhile, in a conversation.. And the ending is.. I actually don’t exactly know how positive, negative or in between.. Okay, so meanwhile during a conversation in a failed off-grid location, of which is almost a ghost town of abandoned infrastructure with burnt out neon lights, aside from three lost and confused layed off individuals..     

Person #1: But why do I need to sign up for a program to desensitize myself from spiders if I feel too now remain living with more and more of them!?
Person #2: It’s because your standards of living are going down my guy..
Person #1: Okay but like–
Person #2: Dude, shut up!
Person #1: What?
Person #2: We’re trying to help you by signing you up to see a desensitization specialist!
Person #1: You’re trying to have me sign up for your torture program you a–
Person #2: No, we’re just trying to help!
Person #1: You’re trying to manipulate me so you can feel a sick ego boost as you strap me down and watch me suffer as their fangs dissect me!
Person #3: You need to chill.. Like, it’s just a joke man!
Person #2: It literally does not sound that way, at all!

 Person #1 runs away, becomes tackled, kicked, punched, falls to the ground and then becomes airlifted to a place far and unknown above trees, mountains, and various valleys, until the last stretcher of the last socially divisive and bizarre forces of artificially programmed humanlike intelligence, discovers the last stretcher of the last remaining insane asylum, and then, right before the plans to torture begin, a meteor from another solar system loses orbit of the outermost planet of the outermost ring, then collides with the changing planet. Which therefore engulfs it, while freeing all of the last sentient life of the pain and suffering that they also did not know to be contributing too. All, as a result, of social and environmental natural and unintentionally conditioned behavior. Which, resulted in worse choices along paths of destructive decisions. Yep, crazy right!? And well, thanks for reading that, as always!  

(Genre: I guess that this can be considered a “poem”, I don’t even know..(!?)),

Yes,
I want to share,
A question which I now guess is that..,
That..,
If we’re in pain,
“Why on ‘Earth’ would any delusional force of pain beyond the words of what I feel I’m unfortunately ‘not allowed to say’ always feels to ‘have’ to ‘seek’ to ‘justify’ adding pain to anyone else!?”,
And..,

Although this might,
To a very large extent,
Feel to be an incredible “waste of a page”,

I just hope that these lines,
Line breaks,
Stanzas and Punctuations,
Among any forms of communication I attempt to share on this blog..,

More..,
Somehow clearly communicate another belief of mine which is,
The need to NOT insatiably believe that we “need” more and more “pain”,
For whichever form(s) of “improvement”,
Is,

Probably some other feeling,
Of which I’m essentially trying to remember communicating,
Here on this blog for my own safety..,
And I know I’m now paranoid again,
And although I guess that it’s for reasons I do not understand,
Well,
Can we please,
All at least try to,
In whichever ways we see as fit,
Feel less pain to REDUCE the desire to add it towards others,

Which of course also pertains to myself,

Thanks!

Okay so I hope this is not happening..,
And that is;

If I were to narcissistically want to “convert” anyone to,
A force of self-serving narcissism,
Sadly,
It’ll probably happen on it’s own,
As those with good intentions try to help me,

And a reason why I feel it’s sad,
Is because,
Several of those who want to help me,
Might not realize how they’re actually hurting me,

Just saying..

(Disclaimer: Please do NOT take this personally and please ONLY read this if you want to. Now although this might sound nasty I just wanted to say this. Thanks for the patience, and a reason pertaining to why I now guess I feel a need to type and share this, is because, for example, if this deeply provokes any painfully suppressed emotions waiting to blast out, I am NOT responsible for whatever anyone chokes on or spills all over any of whoever’s “selves” if that makes any level of sense..(?)),

So I want to say and/or request this,
Which is,

Please do NOT,
Abuse a nine digit keypad,
Of who your perceptions make you assume,
Has verbal communication struggles,
To therefore,
Reduce your chances of finding out,
A six digit set of birth month and year numbers,
Of someone that you know,
You hurt,

In honor of a belief such as what I hope is fair of me to say,
Which I feel is that, speaking for “myself” is;

“The more that we stop talking after constantly remaining unjustifiably interrupted, the more our confidence in being able to verbally express ourselves reduces, which can increase chances of oral and facial tissues degenerating. While, if we’re not aware, could increase chances of furthering horrifically painful forms of degeneration within ourselves as a result of an accumulated lack of confidence that can lead to a vegetative state which is therefore painful beyond words, especially including the fact that we’ll therefore no longer be able to express our needs of pain alleviation in words”.

Yes.., I quoted that because I thought of it,
And I ask that anyone who believes that I,
Quote on quote.., “stole” that quote..,
Well I’ll therefore share a belief that,
“If we feel that we have to cite any most microscopic form of communication we feel is imaginable, then how will any of us feel able to comfortably communicate anything..?”,

So therefore,
If anyone of great physical health,
Has any simplistic and useless fancy ideologies,
That come from an internal feeling,
That wishes to control the thoughts and emotions of others with,
A part of what my perceptions see as myself,
Now prefers to respond to that by saying that,
“Keep it to yourself” and “stop abusing those of which your perceptions clearly tell you is presently in a vulnerable physical, mental and emotional state”,

So as for any number of whoever you individually are that feel you “can’t control”,
Your impulses to hurt those you feel to clearly perceive that you can easily hurt,
Just at least try to notice your naturally occurring breath and internal impulsive physical sensations pass,

And if you fail to do this,
You are presently a three letter curse word,
Which I’m “not allowed to say”,
Which is,
Therefore as you most probably know,
Which I’ll still say,
Is an “ass”

Wow..,
After millions, billions,
And however much further back,
I feel that,
Too much time on this phone,

Has taken my attention back,
To a time of which,
All you reading this,

Probably feel that I “deserve”..

Okay so “theoretically speaking”..

Wow,
When I run out of fiat currency,
The vending machine just,
Gives myself more bone matter dissolving substances..,

Is that not interesting!?

But of course,
I’ll just be asked,
“Are you okay..!?”,

Well,
This is,

It really is..,

Not cool man

Forget it.. I don’t know….!?

And.. since I’m manic, my stupidity, failed to learn.. from this.. “Smart”.. phone.. so my paranoia tells me that.. if I say I’m paranoid, someone will say, “he needs more medication”.. wow.. I know we all know these times are different, and as always, forcing an apology, will not.., help, whatever it is that, tears people apart.., it’s like, all that everyone needed to do was to read the first ten amendments.. and apply it to everyone, that’s it, that’s it..

Okay algorithms.. I get it.. you are trying to depict me as the “Devil” by making it.., because of the six digits that I remembered by trying to.., I don’t understand.., yet if I sense any.., you all know.., trying to make me appear as the “Devil”, well, then in order to protect myself, I will try my best, to not brainwash any as clean as how all you algorithms are trying to make me appear as..