Plastic Authoritarians

Largely,
Speaking figuratively,
(And/or at least for my safety mostly..(?)),
However often,
My perceptions tell me that:

For one,
I put a lot of organized thought,
More often than not,
For lots of people who I try to considerately emotionally open up to,
Who also appear to NOT directly tell me,
That they feel a strong need,
To avoid me..,

As for the title and/or more of the larger context,
Whether the more precise word is “plastic” or “artificial”..(?),
I (figuratively speaking) presently feel it’s often clear that:

I deeply fear,
Forces,
Sucking me in,
And forcing me to additionally block out,
What truly helps me,
In order,
To follow presently inevitably forced orders,
So the plastic authoritarians,
Do NOT punish me even more (IRreparably) severely,
For being my naturally ethically considerate,
LESS materialistic self,
More peacefully,
courageously and openly,

Those plastic authoritarians may constantly have elaborate secret psychiatric “chemical balancing” methods to profitably prescribe and/or temp toxic impulses that may still weigh within me with all their readily available authoritarian temptation(s) that may just capture my susceptible sensitive senses and emotions,

And well,
(Speaking based from what I believe I feel to often perceive),
(For example),
Since various surroundings,
Beings and/or whichever circumstances might still feel impossible to avoid and/or escape,
Well,
Maybe if I more increasingly often catch myself in the act and (therefore) remind myself to just try to waste LESS energy by resisting LESS of what I can NOT avoid NOR change,
Possibly,
I might (far more likely) survive significantly longer than I may have often expected to before..(?),

Because,
(Instead of accumulating more internally weighing negative emotional reactivity largely as a result of NOT feeling able to escape a personally despised mainstream culture that I (therefore) wish NO LONGER would surround me),
I instead,
Might have more peace to help me function EVEN while sober WHILE within cultural forces and currents I hate,

And since I feel I can NOT stop any (forms of more or less dominant) cultural current(s) from appearing (and/or feeling) to be more harmful than helpful in infinite forms and/or degrees (however expected or unexpectedly..),
Well,
Maybe I’ll find more internal clear peaceful strength and balance,
IF I,
Just,
(Sufficiently remember),
To,
Peacefully witness,

?

And may one day,
The impulsive,
Narcissistic,
Arrogant,
Basic, dualistic and simplistic energy forces,
Peacefully and LESS violently,
Return to where they came from,
As their energy forces,
Peacefully evolve,
So more sentient energy forces,
Can ALSO,
More deeply,
Interdependently,
Continue forward