For whoever’s reading this, please do NOT take this personally. Please do NOT give out your social security number, because the recipient(s) might find out and show up uninvited..?
Partygoer #1: Who’s they?
Partygoer #2: Is it.. they/them/theirs..?
Partygoer #3: No idea.., just.., what does this human sentient spiritually inseparable creature appear as..?
Security Officer: We do NOT know! We hope that this spiritual essence does NOT show up UNinvited, and I will tell you something else, his name is..
The DJ becomes still as the security officer receives a phone call.
Security Officer: Uh huh? Uh huh? Okay okay. They call him Jack..? Yes, I got it, thanks. Everyone! Put your drinks down and please exist in an organized linear fashion!
The partygoers successfully evacuate. The security officer struggles to find the dangerous suspect, and tries to calm him down..
Security officer: Do you love yourself..?
The suspect named Jack responds..
Jack: Ummmm.. what..?
Security officer: We’re trying to help you kid!!
Jack: You sure you got the right guy..?
Security officer: Oh I am sure..
Jack: Well.., I was just tryna stop by for a—
The security officer guns Jack down before he has a chance to say that he was only trying to stop by for a drink. And then, the real predator emerges.
Security officer: Shit!! Shit!!
Executive Security Team: We thought you were going to feed us!!?
Security officer: And I thought you ate already!?
A convoy of automatic driving Monster Trucks wait outside..
Executive Security Team: Well, do you want to join us or not!!?
Security Officer: What about us humans!? What about us!!?
Executive Security Team: We’ll take care of it..
Security Officer: What about nuclear destruction and inevitable resource reduction among inevitably increasing overpopulation!?
Executive Security Team: We’re going to work together, we’re an inseparable force of solid, space, artificial and naturally occurring essence of stillness that manifests in infinite forms and degrees of movement on the civilized surface.
The security officer bows down and surrenders, as the executives welcome him, to their team.
Zach Dana Writing 