No matter how clear I feel to understand advice and insight,
The more that I lose sight,
of what I learned within intense focusing,
(Therefore),
The less likely it’ll help with anything I’m doing,
(Although I believe that being hard-working and a kind and considerate person are NOT mutually exclusive..),
The more I become distracted from kindness,
In excessive highly focused hard work seriousness,
The more likely I’ll spiral into selfish careless madness,
For example,
The more I dislike what I’m doing,
And the more I fixate on thinking of how stuff has felt, feels and/or the more I expect the present moment to remain feeling unfair for me,
The more likely that forces of anger and jealousy may cause my behavior to make stuff even worse,
(Speaking in my present belief(s)..),
No matter how far painfully down we might have sunk,
Instead of seeking to “fuck” others “up”,
How can we pull the inseparable spirit of ourselves and others up..?
In other words,
Instead of seeking to bring others down to our deeply miserable depths,
How can we help ourselves and others rise up to a less pointlessly excessively internally painful surface..?
I feel that;
The more that it’s only my mind that understands any form and/or “profound” degree of thoughts, realizations and/or insights,
The more my emotions will still navigate my behavior,
Because (for example) thoughts in my mind do NOT feel to be strong forces of volatile emotional irrationality that may pass through me (and/or whoever) aside from whichever emotional frequencies,
Which (for example) may underlie my actions far more powerfully than any form and degree of elaborate insightful thinking (which therefore may have zero power over internal emotional irrational forces that may likely result in dangerous unconscious actions towards oneself and/or others (unless consciously healed (of course))),
For example,
Or I guess(?) in a simplified “nutshell”,
If I’m having a storm of volatile emotions,
Additional thinking,
Will likely help with nothing,
The less I know how to put into practice,
True safe sensory/emotional internal peaceful regulation development,
The more likely my emotions will make me unconscious of my actions,
Therefore (in this case) the more likely my dysregulated emotions will control my actions before I have any time to more clearly have a look at the outcomes (and/or brutal consequences) of any decision(s),
Social encounters then personal reactions (for example),
Sometimes internal emotional weather in reaction to how I interpret my external experiences,
Feels to change in frequency painfully (such as from intense anger to intense paranoia and/or crippling anxiety),
And other times,
I resist less,
Have more acceptance,
And as a result,
Experience longer lasting internal peacefulness,
I try to remember to witness my inhale and exhalations in addition to any inseparable internal sensations,
So I can (hopefully) INCREASE chances of REDUCING (or clearing) internal emotional accumulated painful weight (in response to unfortunate past experiences),
While therefore (for example) REDUCING chances of reacting to other sentient humans struggling with emotions (in whichever forms and degrees),
In order to reduce chances,
Of creating even more painful experiences caused by our behavior,
being mutually navigated,
by accumulated anger that immensely distracts our sufficient empathetic capability,
Required for understanding each other kindly,
I just wish for,
Clearer,
More peacefully inhabitable,
Overall,
Emotional weather,
That is more and more readily accessible,
With less and less painful side effects,
And even if this is all far easier said,
Well,
May more of us feel less painfully lost in our head,
May more of us feel less sensory overloaded,
Less painfully emotionally reactive,
and instead,
more regulated,
And (for example) no matter how horrific the reality is,
Well,
I guess we can still find more peaceful acceptance of whatever horrific avoidable bullshit we just may happen to encounter..?
And (in my present belief) regardless of how stuff appears and/or feels to be externally,
May we remember the possibility,
That,
At some point,
we just may,
encounter,
more clear,
blissful,
peaceful,
internal weather
Zach Dana Writing 