(Disclaimer: For one (or for example..) I hope no one hacks this (which in my present belief is just an ongoing fear that all I can do is practice noticing and peacefully accepting).. and yes, I don’t intend for this to sound arrogant, and well, I (therefore) believe it’s not my responsibility for how others might presently emotionally respond/interpret anything I share, (again, please do NOT take this personally, and, as always, thanks for reading!)),
(Genre: Creative Writing in stanzas I guess..(?)),
In my presently held belief;
I understand how disclaimers can appear as unnecessary and annoying,
I believe that elaborate valid explanations might (however often) never prevent someone from hating me,
Because (for example) their hate might not be rational,
Yet I don’t mind throwing in some (which others may consider such as this),
“Excessive” parenthetical “irritating”,
“anxious” and/or “cowardly” explanative detail..(?),
(For example),
Speaking for all and any possible groups of people wherever with whichever level and form of power..,
Fuck the so-called arrogant and self-proclaimed “real” scumbags of backgrounds who just want to claim they’re “real” in order to add to others insecurity to give his/her/their unconscious egos a sense of additional power,
And I’d like to try making clear again and again,
That (in my presently held belief),
If any individual(s) try to feel better by putting down others to feel “above” them,
The individual(s) will continue doing it insatiably because the individual(s) will never sufficiently heal the deeper internal emotional sources of his/her/their egoistic behavior,
IF (for example) the individual is stuck in any form and degree of perpetual egoistic unconsciousness,
(Again.., Pertaining to anyone of any level of external power wherever on whichever hierarchy..),
And (for example) I can understand that whoever the person is,
is likely carrying a deeply accumulated emotional traumatic personal/collective history,
(Yet although me trying to post stuff here on WordPress might be an attempt to (at least somewhat) help whoever may read these),
At the end of the day,
Others’ behavior is just out of my control I must (peacefully and confidently) try to clearly say,
Yes,
(For example),
I feel that it’s important to be efficiently straight to the point at times (in whichever circumstances, where, when, why and (however often)),
For one,
I definitely believe that action speaks more deeply,
Than any amount,
Form and sincere degree,
of apologies..,
Now okay sure..,
I apologize if me saying this is egoistic,
However;
Presently I feel a need to apologize LESS,
While several others should apologize MORE,
Presently I feel a need to show less signs of anxiousness,
While others reduce wiseass unconscious intimidatingly deliberately hurtful (and brutally straight to the “point”) arrogance,
In my belief,
(To a reasonable extent),
It’s okay to explain,
It’s okay to get a little anxious,
I feel it shows fair humility,
Not that it’s “always necessary”,
Not to spiral in to the (secretly egoistic) “humility olympics”..,
HOWEVER I feel that anxiety can indicate more polite humility than delusional arrogant nasty stupidity,
And well,
I think I’m becoming better at not getting as lost,
(And/or improving at becoming less provoked),
In whichever constant current of hateful energy,
That yes (in my belief),
Can be found and has the potential to equally dangerously horrifically manifest in all groups, (And/or infinite types and/or forms (to whichever extents) of any manifesting sentient interdependent beings..),
Yep,
(In my presently held belief..),
No matter how hard I try,
Beyond the walls of any ability,
There’s always the possibility of some scumbag pointlessly talking shit,
And well,
Luckily,
Instead of mostly focusing on that type of negativity,
Well,
I’d say overall,
I’m improving at,
Not letting any forms and degrees of inevitable deeply negative pointless nasty energy as severely derail my ability,
To sustain sufficiently needed consciously considerate awareness,
I guess it again comes down to a clear needed reminder of needing to keep practicing..(?),
Yep,
For example (I believe that..),
No matter whatever and however deeply understandable the reasons are pertaining to why an individual operates in the arrogant dickhead ways the individual does,
Well,
Although I intend for these posts to be helpful,
Ultimately,
I feel that the more I accept that others’ behavior or response to how I operate and share..,
just remains out of my control,
The more peaceful I’ll feel and the less sad,
mad and/or upset I’ll feel in response to not being able to change others,
Thanks again for reading
Zach Dana Writing 