For example,
feeling as if my only options are trying to put out fire and then becoming crushed and burned to death,
and/or surviving and feeling guilty that I did,
and/or (for example) feeling guilty for not having developed myself in ways that’ll give me the courage to become a fireman,
for me..,
are all feelings of at least some degree of deep self-critical negativity,
that I feel to (keep expecting),
In addition to presently feeling,
perpetually inevitably,
And as usual,
yes,
I’m still trying to,
develop myself in whichever ways I most presently see as helpful for how I see I must remain morally responsible,
and sometimes deep fear,
keeps me awake,
and scatters my attention,
and makes me feel,
so much more in danger,
than I most probably am..?
And (in addition to the possibility of) whatever can “occur”,
I can remind myself,
Well,
At least it’s “not occurring now”,
Huhhh..,
and well,
if stuff feels to even more painfully shatter apart than it has previously felt quite frequently,
well,
I’ll keep trying to notice the internal sensations and develop peaceful acceptance of them,
INSTEAD of adding more pain by creating resistance tension,
pertaining,
to however and whichever percentage my deepest fears might not,
and/or inevitably,
come true,
Thanks for reading!
Zach Dana Writing 