Not Alone

For one I can only speak for myself,
And well,
What may “work” for several,
May affect me quite differently,

So therefore;
In my belief that I’m trying to put into words;
I feel that;

Fulfilling a need for social connection could be similar to a need for food and/or any essential nutrition,
so THEREFORE may I be able to clearly distinguish between what is healthy and what is toxic,
Pertaining to the social connection that I fill myself with,

And for example,
if I’m in a vulnerable and desperate need for emotional support,
may I remain mindful of who to reach out to,
and who to avoid,
since (in moments of emotional desperation),
I may need someone who will deeply empathetically listen,
as opposed to someone ready to attack me with perpetual hardass advice that comes from an egoistic place of wanting to control me,

For example,
When in desperation,
I may need compassionate understanding (which (I feel) could (also) include advice as long as it’s from a place of kind empathy (and therefore is given and received that way)),
As opposed to receiving more arrogant aggressive criticizing and/or (also instead of) shameful mean advice,

So for example,
if I’m saying I feel deeply sad,
the person who might make me feel worse might yell at me by exclaiming “fucking snap out of it!!”,
which might cause me to feel even more sad as a result of being scolded for telling the person “I’ve been feeling sad”,

So.. instead,
(For example),
may I be able to find someone who would be willing to give me a hug and say “I’m here for you” and/or “you’re not alone”,

INSTEAD of accidentally opening up to the toxic individual who might say “stop being a pussy!” and/or “man up!”,
And/or “Yo why you always gotta kill the vibe!?”,
Which will most likely (and/or has often felt to) just make me feel deeply WORSE inside,

Especially if for example,
I claim to be opening up to someone by telling the person how I felt hurt by another individual,
While then receiving a response such as,
“It’s not all about you!”,
Which has often made me feel additionally misunderstood and pissed off,
Especially since I do NOT view wanting the respect and compassion I feel to deserve as “selfish”..,
Yet instead more of a BASIC social/emotional NEED,

Yep..,
Several who I’ve tried to open up to,
To emotionally climb out to a clearer,
More peacefully fulfilled feeling,
Have sometimes pushed me down,
Causing me to sink down into an even deeper shithole that I initially reached my hand out to the person to help lift me out of!!

It’s like (for example) I don’t also realize they’re also trying to save themselves from suffocating in the quicksand of socially toxic dramatic wasteful bullshit,
So instead of pulling me out,
Their egos will dunk my head under in order to remain afloat,

And well,
I write this because when I’m in a deeply emotionally vulnerable place,
I feel a deep need to be extra careful about NOT opening up to anyone who may make me feel deeply worse than I am already,

Thank you for reading!
And if you’re also deeply struggling,
well,
I hope it helps to hear me say that you’re not alone, and I’m here,
in spirit,
On WordPress and/or wherever else I happen to be at,

Love ya!!

(Creds to my younger brother (among others) for being there.)