Unappreciative Honesty

(Please do NOT take this personally. As for the names, they have been randomly selected and do NOT intend to “depict” anyone I know in real life. As always, thanks for reading! And thanks for the sincere and positive support!),
(Genre: I guess a short play..(?)),
(Other note: I’m not really too sure if this is that good, however, I just thought I’d post it anyway.. Thanks again for the support! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!),

Meanwhile, while Jake’s Dad visits his mom’s house on the early afternoon of Christmas Day..

Jake: I’m sorry I’m being an asshole yet I’m trying to be honest.
Jake’s Dad: Honesty is most important.
Jake: No, if honesty makes us feel irreparably worse it’s not needed. Sorry for being an asshole.
Jake’s Dad: My apologies Jake.
Jake: And why would Terra get me a cookbook without considering that I can’t afford any of the ingredients!?
Jake’s sister: She was just trying to get you something nice!
Jake: I understand but even with the George Foreman grill, it’s not like anyone will be stopping by for a barbeque! I have zero friends! No one wants to hang out with me!
Jake’s sister: You still have to understand that there wasn’t any malevolent intent! She was trying to do something nice!
Jake: I understand, but you have to have consideration about how it’ll make the person feel when receiving it! Will it stress them out!? Like I open the book and I see all this elaborate information!
Jake’s Dad: Those are just fractions Jake..
Jake: Okay fine I’ll stop being negative.
Jake’s Dad: Let’s change the subject.

Jake stands up from one of the living room couches, walks upstairs to his bedroom and paces around thinking to himself.. He then decides to go back downstairs.

Jake: You know what!? I’m sick of suppressing how I truly feel in order to try making others like me! I’m sick of being too scared to be honest! And to be honest, I feel angry that you didn’t listen to me when I tried making it clear that I did NOT want a TV!
Jake’s Dad: Well, I thought that since you like to watch Spongebob and movies on your iPhone, you’d like to have it..
Jake: I’m trying to have less screen time! And I don’t want my living space dominated by a giant screen! I don’t! And I’m angry because I feel I could have made that more clear, yet I didn’t because I didn’t want you to get frustrated with me!
Jake’s Dad: I’m sorry for not listening enough Jake.
Jake: And I’m sorry for being an asshole! Yet I just have to do a better job at communicating my needs!! People are like “oh, he won’t mind..”, and it’s not fair to me!
Jake’s Dad: I’m really sorry Jake, I should have listened better.

Jake angrily walks upstairs.. He then feels bad for what he said, and then decides to walk back downstairs while trying to act in better holiday spirits..

Jake: Look, I’ll try to make it work, I’m sorry for acting crazy, I’m just really sick of my life.. I hate my job.. I hate it when I try to open up to people, to then just receive a bunch of opinionated advice that makes me feel alone with my feelings! I keep foolishly expecting support from those who are ready to give criticism for the sole purpose of trying to enjoy feeling as if they’re listening to themselves confidently expressing their “correct” viewpoints with zero regard to how much they’re actually making me feel misunderstood and worse.. Several who know what it means to empathetically listen just chose not to.. And I doubt it’s empathy fatigue.. I feel that several are just insecure and are wanting to hear themselves give “helpful” advice (which is actually arrogant opinions) more than anything.. It pisses me off and just makes me deeply sad and feeling more alone with how I initially felt..
Jake’s Dad: You’re right Jake. That’s what people seem to default to when we’re honest with them. Most people are not in a place to have that kind of deep empathy for others. It’s too bad.
Jake: Even though I’m trying to be more honest, I’ll really try working with what you felt I’d like. Given how rough stuff has been between us recently, I now (as expected) feel really bad for being an asshole. I’m sorry.
Jake’s Dad: It’s okay buddy.

Jake sits on the couch while continuing to talk with his Dad and sister..

Jake: Look, I just have to reduce the expectations I have of people being there for me.. When I open up to people, I too often feel worse after hearing what they have to say in response. So I just have to learn to not expect much from them, so I’m less likely to feel as deeply let down by them..
Jake’s sister: That’s something hard that I also had to learn.
Jake: I’m having a terrible fucking Christmas!
Jake’s sister: That’s the spirit!!
Jake: I’m just so done with my life..
Jake’s Dad: I know you’re having a rough time Jake.
Jake: Look, when I’d screw up when I was young, you’d hold me accountable. Now, in addition to holding myself accountable, I’m going to do that for others. Even if the resulting outcomes are more risky, I’m still just so done trying to please others while neglecting my needs, such as avoiding telling them how I honestly feel, just so I can try to have them “like” me. Look, I’m sorry for the way I acted. It’s just, for a long time now, I felt I have been too much of an easygoing people pleaser, and the anger just erupted.
Jake’s Dad: Well you seem somewhat more relaxed now and able to reflect more on your recent behavior. What would you say is now different?
Jake: I would say I’m more aware of the feelings that are passing within me as opposed to being as much under their unconscious control. Since I’m more able to witness my feelings, those feelings are not contaminating my view of reality to the same extent. It’s about being able to distinguish between an intense feeling and reality. And even if the feelings are valid, it’s still best to be more aware of them so I’m less painfully in their control. It takes practice of course..
Jake’s Dad: Well I’m glad you’re more relaxed now.
Jake: Look, I’ll try to chill out more. Although I’m trying to be more honest and straight-up with people, I’ll still try to relax so I don’t get myself into serious trouble, and so I don’t feel too bad in general.. I guess..? And I guess I’ll therefore try to accept more of what I can’t change in order to feel less unexpectedly let down by the reality I encounter.
Jake’s Dad: I’m going to get going.
Jake: Remember to take the gratitude poem I wrote you.
Jake’s Dad: I will.

Jake’s Dad stands up and hugs Jake goodbye as they wish each other a Merry Christmas. And Jake’s Dad gladly takes the poem that Jake wrote for him which reads;

“‘Along the Way’

Hi Dad,

Thank you for helping me sustain an ability to think critically,
Thank you for sustaining more kindness and patience than most have had for me,

When most would rather not hang out with me,
Thank you for continuing to enthusiastically invite me,

When most others would probably truly wish more harm onto me,
Thank you for holding me accountable compassionately,

When most wouldn’t ever even slightly consider giving a fuck about me,
Thank you for still having empathy,

I’m glad you made it through your surgery among all of your personal deeply challenging obstacles,
I’m glad you have the strength to keep going with your head held high,

I view you as a well-intentioned strong and tough guy!

And aside from challenges I still may grapple with personally,
Thanks for properly raising me,

If it wasn’t for you among a certain few,
I may not be here today,
So thank you,
For helping and continuing to help me,
Along the way,

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Dad!!

-Jake”