Still reminding Myself

Even if I’m constantly failing to continue to practice meditating (for example),
I still just have to remind myself to notice my breath and intense internal emotional sensations because when I tell most people about how I feel to be excessively struggling,
Many people just..,
“Don’t want to hear it”,

Many people might also just criticize me for it in ways that make me feel even worse,
Many people might just ignore it,
Some might have a lot to say that truly never helps me with any of it,
Yet several will somehow make me feel to believe that they just truly “don’t give a fuck”..,

And regardless of however “perfectly” accurate my perceptions truly are,
That’s just often how I feel to perceive it,

And (aside from small amounts of people who may seem to care..),
Essentially,
since I can’t make others want to hear it,
Since I can’t change others by making them help me feel more supported,
I can still remind myself,
To notice my breath and intense emotions as they pass,
To increase chances of me remaining centered,
And at least somewhat aware and somewhat functional,
And of course,
To waste less and less energy by trying to rely on more of those who truly want me to always “shut the fuck up”,

So whenever often feeling (inevitably) instantly negatively judged and ignored after opening up to others,
Really just to make conversation..
Not to ask them to “hold my hand through life”,
Yet just to sometimes share how I feel that cause many of them to somehow make it clear that they just “don’t want to hear it”..,
Can also add to a difficult emotion that I can also notice pass within myself as I witness my breath and inner emotional sensations,

Therefore,
I must continue reminding myself to focus on that,
Instead of opening up to more and more people,
Who truly just,
“Don’t want to hear it”