(THIS IS NOT Personal, it is FICTION)

My guess would be that if someone trains others to hurt another, then, when the victim gets hurt and discovers who was behind the training, then the victim and his laughing friends just might get a little paranoid..?

Yet, (for example) are the wannabe murderers “sensitive”..(?), Do all the he/him/his/she/theirs/whatever.. require more “trauma-reduction therapy” to melt away all the times he/him/his/she/theirs/whatever.. was called a “snowflake”..?

Now yes I think I understand how various forms of trauma can accumulate and possibly melt..(?).. yet would this type of self-sob-story telling master manipulate he/him/his/theirs/whatever.. into provoking others unintentionally.. and well.. if yuh hate me.. and this was a waste.. will there be an apology to.. uhh.. never mind..,

And here is a paraphrased song;

“If yuh hate me and yuh know it take a breath”,

“If yuh hate me and yuh know it feel the flow.. I don’t know..?”

“If yuh hate me and yuh know it and your footnotes won’t disclose it.. if yuh hate me and yuh know it fuck off”,

Fuck off!!

(Disclaimer: No need to read this.. it’s fictional dialogue)

Friend: Jerry, the reason that guy said everyone’s been bullied, is because he wants you to let it go. Jerry: Yeah but I had it worse.
Friend: Jerry, I know it’s hard.. but we have to let stuff go that’s out of our control.
Jerry: Well I’m not letting it go.
Friend: That’s it.. give me your phone!
Jerry: It’s my alarm clock man!!
Friend: Man.. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just see people on screens that remind me of myself that are getting hurt as well.. and I’ve tried to find a way to inclusively reduce all forms of pain, open to anyone free of charge.. yet I keep failing and failing. Even when I try writing. I’m like.. “who’s going to take this personally”..? “Who’s going to dig up emails of stuff I sent to people who I thought were friends and try to make it appear as if I’m “the one to blame”..
Jerry: Okay man here you go once again.. zero action.. yes.., all I’m trying to do.., is just to receive some instructions about what we can both practice to not get strapped down and tortured.
Friend: We’re both paranoid..
Jerry: Dude I know..
Friend: Shiit!! It’s the fucking shit!!
Jerry: No it’s quicksand!! Lie on your back!! Just do it, like..
Friend: Shut up!! I’m doing it!!
Jerry: Ahhhhhh!!
Friend: What is this!?
Jerry: I don’t know how their pain tolerance was increased!!?
Friend: Shit!! Fucking fuck!!
Narrator: And then, they lost air, right after giving up all expectations, all teachings that taught nothing, all of their expectations that became painfully unexpected, which sadly, was expected.

And as the editor I don’t know why this asshole blog person used the word “they” in order to polarize those who seek a heat tolerance.. I’m like.. what!!?

(Genre: I don’t know)

A thought: “If someone is called ‘selfish’ for helping others.. And if someone is called ‘selfish’ for wanting to feel good about themselves for helping others while being criticized for it.. then.. wouldn’t that become a bit annoying, especially if the critical forces have nothing to help pull this ‘selfish’ person out of this selfish place..(?)”, and regardless of that.. umm.. this iPhone keyboard has become so addicting to the point of my losing CONFIDENCE.. or should I say.. I lack intelligence..? What..? Just.. how do I create electricity.. without listening to another story, that just.. has not felt to .. yeah I don’t know.. I’m sorry.

Person #1: Wait.. if you’re killing raccoons to feed the homeless.. then why not shoot them in the head..?
Person #2: Because we don’t have guns..
Person #1: So that’s why you have the dogs mutilate them..?
Person #2: Yes..
Person #1: I’m now having a panic attack..
Person #2: Why!? It’s not your fault..
Person #1: Thanks.. I’m just feeling very confused and scared.
Person #2: Yep.. that makes sense.
Person #1: It’s like.. look.. I know this stuff occurs in the wild.. yet aren’t humans capable of not torturing animals..?
Person #2: Let’s not overthink this, okay..? And you’re not having a panic attack. You said that to get attention. And I just follow the traditions passed down to me. That’s all.
Person #1: Okay I am very confused..
Person #2: About what!?
Person #1: Well.. I’m sad. Because it appears that our survival presently relies on the suffering of other beings. And I deeply fear I’ll become a victim of that as well.
Person #2: Okay.. well.. instead of doing anything, we’re now just having a conversation.. once.. again..
Person #1: I have anxiety!!
Person #2: No.. you’re a lazy coward.
Person #1: What!? You don’t know that!! And if you’re “correct” then how will calling me that help!?
Person #2: I am correct.
Person #1: You just deliberately ignored my point.
Person #2: No..
Person #1: Dude.. just—
Person #2: Just watch National Geographic.. it’s nature..
Person #1: You’re a human! You don’t need to add to animals torturing themselves!
Person #2: It’s how I’ve been raised!
Person #1: You can change..
Person #2: But it’s nature..
Person #1: You can evolve.. just help me out here.. just.. stop what you’re doing!
Person #2: You think you’re better than others with all your morals that you like to talk about while doing nothing.
Person #1: Okay.. how may I help you..?
Person #2: Wait what..?
Person #1: No.. we’re capable of not adding to this way of sick survival. So let’s take a different approach. What do you need from me?
Person #2: Now I’m confused.
Person #1: Right. That’s why we’re starting over with what’s been given to us.
Person #2: What..?
Person #1: Actually.. I don’t know either. I guess.. maybe it’s best we don’t talk as often..? I really feel that both our thoughts need reorganizing. Same with our emotions. Why don’t we just repeat what we both agree about..?
Person #2: Just shut up man.
Person #1: I wish it wasn’t like this. And I wish I had a plan. Because now, I fucked up, and you fucked up, as is all this.

I’m not sure (however often) if I might have reused titles among these posts..(?),
Anyway,
Here’s more of what I feel a need to try to communicate:

For example:

When various forces of expectations within myself and/or from others attack me all at once,
I may lose sleep,
causing my cognitive/emotional awareness to become so intensely scattered and confused, causing an increase in delusional fears and assumptions that are exaggerated to the point of creating a constant (figuratively speaking) “fight or flight” response,

However,
when I regain sleep and a basic schedule,
stuff then tends to feel more stable again,
and in time,
I hope it feels easier and easier,

I hope that overall,
I can become more and more physically/emotionally stable and/or equanimous,

And I (therefore) feel I just have to keep clearly reminding myself of this,

As always,
a large part of me feels it’s “less talk, more action, breathe”,
(and/or witnessing the changing forms and degrees of internal physical/emotional sensations as they pass through me)..,

For example:
Although I feel this is all easier said,
I feel that however often and to whatever extent when I become painfully lost in my head,
or whenever I feel to experience pain of any type, form and degree..,
I hope to sufficiently remind myself to just notice,
Without becoming increasingly lost in painful wasteful analysis,

I hope to continually adequately realize,
that whatever internal (or type, form and degree of) painful intensity that passes within and influences my perceptions,
is NOT the deepest truths of reality,

And as always (and for example),
I view truth as infinite forms,
Directions and degrees,
Of infinity,

And in time,
as usual,
I hope for it all to feel easier and easier,

Continually

As usual (or as of however often) this creative writing is NOT meant to be taken personally..,

I guess..(?),
I am confused..(?),

Ahh!!
Forces of so-called magic acting in narcissistic-land prefer me to remain quiet as a mouse in a warehouse while the force of narcissism attain stands of stans..,
The toxic force might brilliantly emanate insecure and on brand “masculinity”,
As an unaware wannabe narcissistic celebrity..,

?

The nefarious ignition was on when I thought it was off..,
Fancy rhyme sequences appear to be used to attain large amounts of currency perpetually,
(In addition to whichever forces that operate in vain ongoingly..),

Huhhh..,
When I feel lost in a sea of currency..,
Others may just..,
Keep trying to judgmentally drag me down..,
Since those others just..,
Are contaminated by unconscious powerful forces of pain,
that remain,
perpetually unaware,
of how to rise up to the internal peaceful fresh air..,

All the bullshit just frightens me out of reality,

Shit..,
maybe I got caught in a self-contradicting system..(?),
and of course because of my look,
others may blame those like me for the problems with this unfortunate psychologically damaging system..,
MANIC PARANOIA OF POTENTIAL HORROR IT JUST MIGHT BE..(?),
Huhhh..,
I wish most do NOT act as scumbags..,
It’s deeply challenging..,
Finding and sustaining internal peace sufficiently,

I just did not cause all this dysfunction,
And attacking those powerless and who look like me,
will not heal the roots of any deeply unfortunate reality,

(Yeah I know (or I guess..(?)) I’m all over the place yet it’s just a lot..),

Whoever can piece together the longest length of attention of infinite forms in infinite directions just might be able to help me as long as we’re mutually understanding and NOT delusionally impulsively reprimanding..(?),
Who might interpret this delusionally narcissistically personally..(?),
Who would like to try making people into a fool by deliberately saying nonsense in order to confuse, intimidate,
and emotionally derail whoever (and however many) in order to have direct control of whoever (and however many)..(?),

Is it singularity or plurality..(?),
huhh..,
I wish people would stop trying to confuse me out of reality!!
I wish people would stop trying to provoke me into emotionally dysregulated unconsciousness,

I struggle to comfortably fit in and peacefully associate,
Yet other insecure forces of unconscious ego often feel to add to me feeling increasingly disassociated,
Because I’m emotionally hypersensitive,
Carry and struggle to let go of a lot,
Get caught up in forces of insecure pain..,
Which makes me an easy target,
For others to take out their anger on..,

Huhh..,
I’m like..,
“Come on..”,

And although I feel to NOT be the cause of others’ pain and struggle,
Several others might emotionally dump on me easily,
Because (for example)..,
I’m hypersensitive,
Susceptible to mania,
Fearful confusion..,
And overall,
Quite vulnerable,

Still..,
I’ll keep hanging in there,
As I pass through whichever changing forms and degrees of struggle

To and for whomever, just stop with the beliefs that narrow down to childish fake magical narcissism.. just stop..

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY; PLEASE DO NOT HACK NOR TRUN THIS AGAINST ME: In my internal presently help geographically/socially/culturally hypersensitive/manic opinion, the more someone aggressively tells me how much emotional/physical “pain” he/she/they claims to have experienced and is presently going through while teaching me NOTHING pertaining to healing it, then, that individual just might be dangerous..(?), and, yes, I believe that it is deeply unfortunate that he/she/they might have been profoundly wronged, however, as for healing any forms of pain, I also just.. do not.. have the solution either..

Person #1: Dude.. you’re so manic, that you’re talking about being manic, while not realizing how privileged you really are, because, you always expect to remain on your phone as others who appear similar to you constantly do, whenever you venture out into public..
Person #2: Bruh.. Like.. I’m literally just trying to work here.. like.. just..
Person #1: No, no, no, you don’t realize how narcissistic you really are, because everything you say, always comes back to you..
Person #2: Wow.. it’s like even existing is becoming a crime.. listen.. I’ve done too much listening, and all your “do you choose the path of God” bullshit.. is revolving back to your insatiable desire for manipulation.. and now, because you distracted me with all your angry interruptions.. I’m late for work.. so.. just.. shut.. your.. mouth.. don’t worry kid, I’m spiritual, I believe in freedom, yet just because I look a certain way.. does not mean I oppressed your ancestors.. and I don’t know where in the fucking shithole my ancestors came from.. so stop tryna intimidate me with all your provocative games.. just.. SHUT THE MANIPULATIVE ENERGY OF GUILT TRIPPING FUCKS UP.

Genre: I guess this is fiction..(?)..,

Patient: Welp.. I guess that the meaning of evil power is to study and provoke someone to the point of them being no longer able to function.. so.. therefore.. just.. remember.. to.. remain.. considerately, interdependently, interconnectedly..,
or whichever symbol sufficiently communicates that.. just remember to remain self aware..

The psychiatrist takes notes..

Patient: So.. you are lost in diagnosing, because you are so attached to yourself, your degrees, your fancy office..

Psychiatrist: And you are a hypocrite..

Patient: What..?

Psychiatrist: Here we go again..

Patient: What..?

Psychiatrist: You’re just being provocative..

Patient: No.. You’re provocative.. You can read the emotional energy of others and use it against them..

Patient #2: Hey I’m trying to watch the movie here!!

Psychiatrist: Help.. me..

Both patients: Bahahahahaha!!

Psychiatrist: What do you two idiots believe in anyway!!?

Patient #1: He’s a narcissist..

Patient #2: No.. no.. he’s “self-made”..

Psychiatrist: That’s it!! Shut the fu—

Both patients: HAAAAA!!!!!!!