Since those who proudly “don’t care about others’ feelings”,
Will most likely NOT care to help me feel less painfully emotionally sensitive,

I must ask myself “What can I do?”,
To feel less painfully emotionally reactive

(And of course feel less pain in general without excessively painful side effects far down the road..(for example))

Even if most people are not acting as nice as I am,
At least I’m doing my part,
To help avoid my surrounding area feel and function worse than it might be already,

Even if others aren’t acting as nice as us,
At least by acting nice ourselves,
We’re helping prevent stuff from feeling worse,

So even if not feeling to fairly receive the kindness we give feels painfully unfair towards us,
At least,
We’re trying our best in our own way,
To help prevent stuff from feeling and functioning any worse than it is presently

When I don’t speak my mind,
Most people take advantage of me,

When I do speak my mind,
Most people get mad at me,

So whether or not I speak my mind,
There often feels to be at least something unfortunate,
that occurs to me

If we were less divided,
Maybe more of us can try working more towards traveling through space and the dimensions,
Instead of fixating on our beliefs and others “wrong” opinions..!?

If we were less divided,
Maybe more of us would support each other in a deepening more powerful team spirit,
Instead of wasting energy in endless conversations that never deeply fix any of it..!?

If we were less divided,
Maybe we’d (more likely) have deeper support of each other,
And would more likely excel higher and higher at anything we aspire towards..!?

Yet unfortunately,
It just often seems to me that,
We waste so much time and energy,
By remaining divided perpetually,

Yet hopefully stuff feels easier,
Eventually

For example;

What several might often consider as “chill” or “easygoing”,
I might often consider as being a “pushover” or “letting others walk all over me”..,
?

What several might frequently regard as “crazy”,
I might frequently regard as “honest and truthful”..,
?

And,
even if I (whenever and however often) fail to communicate myself as best as I could that (therefore (more likely)) does NOT nearly result in as preferred of an outcome,
I’d still rather fail than not try,
to be more open,
authentic and confident,

And of course,
To whichever extent for better or worse,
(I feel that.. (as always..)),
we can all interpret and/or define any of it infinitely in our own unique ways as well

I feel that;

For example:
Within various social/interpersonal surroundings..,

Although I largely feel that it’s NOT fair of only myself to be expected to act (more) as a more mature,
peaceful and civilized adult than those far more financially successful than myself,

at least I can remember,
that I’m somewhat helping,
with stuff remaining (or increasing chances of becoming),
at least somewhat civilized and peaceful (through remaining civilized and/or peaceful myself),

And hopefully this makes me feel somewhat gratified by feeling that I’m (at least somewhat) of a helpful force

In addition to not helping myself by wasting time excessively analyzing videos on what I could be doing to help myself,
What I also could be doing,
Is watching videos and admiring another’s success,
Instead of focusing on what I could be doing,

Now is making blog posts such as these a “waste of time” as well?
Does that depend on how they’re viewed?
Such as (pertaining to this post),
Either wasting time by talking about what I “could” be doing,
Or sharing feelings that help remind people they’re “not alone”,
Which therefore may (even if to a very microscopic degree) at least somewhat help whoever reads this feel less painfully isolated..?

I guess(?) I can also say that;
For example;
There’s what’s helpful that can be taken and applied from what certain people have to offer,
And then there’s harmful effects that can also become received of which were initially intended to be helpful,

Such as,
I can either spend more time being hard on myself for “not doing” more of what I’m being suggested to start or remember to practice,
Or I can practice it without additionally weighing myself down internally from excessive self-criticism in addition to various forms of harmful criticism that I already might receive presently and have constantly received in the past from others (in addition to all the past self-criticism that may also weigh me down),

As for that,
Regardless of the underlying intent of forces of criticism,
I can also remember to take a look at how any forms of criticism are truly affecting me,
Such as,
Are they helping inspire while clearing more internal emotional tension..?
Or are they just discouraging myself..?

And as always,
If any pain seeking energy forces within myself or whoever want to criticize myself so they can feel “stronger” and more “dominant”,
Well,
Essentially,
Instead of trying to push down all that’s emotionally and/or physically toxic for myself,
I can instead try my best,
To notice it while allowing it to pass,

And hopefully it feels easier,
Through practice

Sometimes what also prevents me from helping myself,
Is spending too much time,
Listening to,
and over analyzing “self-help” teachings,
Instead of putting into practice,
What any of the forms of instruction is trying to tell me or remind me of

Aside from certain moments when I may (also) have failed at this..,
I just wanted to add that..,
I feel that;

Even if I’m far less financially successful,
Even if I’m far less talented,
Even if I’m far less crowd pleasing,
Even if any of my achievements appear far less impressive,
What ALSO takes work,
Is to remain as a nice person,

Because (for example) I’m therefore not reacting nasty towards those who act nasty,
Because I’m instead practicing self-control to increase chances of my surroundings remaining peaceful and civilized (because if I were to add towards meanness by reacting mean to those who act mean towards myself that’ll (of course) increase chances of violence (which will (of course) add destruction to any remaining aspects of peaceful civilization (aside from kindly and peacefully addressing whatever it is that needs to be addressed and aside from my right to defend myself (for example)))),

And..,
Because (I feel that..) it’s way easier to just emotionally instantly impulsively react without thinking,
Than it is to remain centered and aware of our internally reacting emotions that occur within us,

So (I therefore feel that..) it takes more strength to remain centered,
while NOT allowing strong emotions to take control of our actions,
While any and however many of them intensely react within us..,

And if I already have a “tendency” to be more emotionally reactive to the same triggers than most,
While also receiving (or being more likely to receive) more triggers than most (such as receiving way more nasty expressions of frustration as a result of having far greater than average learning challenges (that are also) exacerbated by anxiety..),
Remaining kind (therefore) takes a lot of ongoing hard work,
That I feel,
Can ALSO be a lot more appreciated (than it often might be),

Because (for example) I have been displaying the strength of remaining nice and civilized to those who want to talk shit to my face and make me feel worse even if they (or however many of them) also claim they’re “nice” and “against” being “mean towards others”,

Because instead of allowing my emotions to react without thinking like those who act mean (to try feeling superior by trying to witness someone feeling even more inferior..),
I have (instead) been putting in the work to hold myself back from angrily reacting,
UNlike what several others appear to be practicing,

And of course,
(I feel that..),
Acting mean to try feeling “above” someone else,
Is not sufficiently putting in the work required,
To (remember to breathe and) develop and sustain the clear and peaceful awareness necessary to clear (or not react and not add to) the internal sources of that desire to impulsively act mean..,
Which therefore (if anything) would only temporarily make someone’s ego feel better by acting nasty (to try putting another down to feel “above” that person or to feel “better” in general..) since the causes of the meanness are not being addressed nor attempted to internally peacefully heal,

And even if my kindness is (however often) presently causing me to suppress difficult feelings instead of being a sign of internal peacefulness,
and even if I may have regrettably snapped at certain individuals later on..,
Essentially,
Even if I’m far less successful financially,
Or however it is that I’m far less successful in ways more commonly expected of myself..,
It would still be kind of others,
To at least somewhat acknowledge,
All the work that I have struggled to continually fulfill,
To become,
And remain as,
A kind person

(Genre: Short Play/Short Dialogue Practice)
(Note: As always, please do not take this personally. It is meant to be lighthearted. Thanks!!)

Person #1: That’s not what he’s saying!
Person #2: Well that’s what I’m saying!
Person #1: Yeah but we weren’t even talking about that!
Person #2: But it could still be drawn from what we were discussing.
Person #1: No it couldn’t have.
Person #2: Okay..?
Person #1: Please show some respect.
Person #2: You’re not showing me that much respect! You literally didn’t say anything this whole meeting aside from correcting me by how you felt I needed to be “corrected” while having nothing of value in what you told me!
Person #1: So maybe this isn’t for you then?
Person #2: Doesn’t sound like it..

Person #2 exits the zoom AA meeting then walks back to the bar..