Could be Worse

Although I’m not in a place of love,
And I guess I could start with myself,
?
At least..
I’m not in a place,
being tortured..

Although I’m in a dark place,
At least,
the place I’m in,
Is presently,
a nice sheltered,
Peaceful,
Civil,
Location..

And at least..
Although I’m feeling upset about my past,
At least..
It’s the past..

Although this is not what I prefer..
It could be..
WAY WORSE,

Although,
The anger,
judgment and disrespect,
people throw at me,
sometimes.. if not often.. everyday,
Makes it harder for me to not lose my shit,
And get in a deeper hole,
of horrifically painful bullshit,
Is NOT happening now,
Hasn’t happened in this life yet..
And..
Aside from my past,
Which may not have been as bad,
But was still pretty damn bad,
And even though I’m still mad,
And even though I’m around others who are also mad and sad,
Yet..
I would guess they haven’t had,
To overcome,
the same TYPE of obstacles as me,
And even though they STILL,
use my challenges against me..
It could be worse,
Evidently..

Although it sucks,
Although it’s far below preferable..
At least..
It could be..
way worse..

I still want to feel better,
But at least overall I’m feeling better than before,
At least,
I hope..
To experience more of what I prefer..

Too often than not,
I’m lacking the confidence,
For properly following a practice in a way I see fit,
as a viable way,
or practice..
To experience what I prefer to experience..
To arrive,
And sustain,
my preferred inner presence,
or..
feeling,
or..
clearness,
or..
satisfying awareness..

Although I can do this,
My autsistic history,
That has damaged my confidence,
Doesn’t help me sustain the confidence,
I NEED,
To experience,
more of what I PREFER,
to experience..

And even though,
I guess I must say that,
It could be worse,
Well,
I do NOT prefer this either,
Of course..

Still..

Could be worse..