Unforeseen Developed Abilities

Amongst the vast infinite life energy functions,
There’s only so much my mind is capable of understanding,
And I would say that about anyone’s mind,
I feel I must deepen my awareness,
That expands beyond just my mind,
And includes more of my inner body..,
Yet as always,
It has NOT always felt easy for me..,
Yet this is what I feel I must do,
To deeply feel better..,
To excel at whatever and however,

And I come from a different environment,
With different condition(s),
That continue to be shaped,
And manifest in unique ways,
And I guess since we all are “unique” to varying degrees,
Those just happen to be ways in which I’m unique,
However good or bad..,

I know my past experiences have shaped how I tend to interpret others’ energy,
Yet I’d say,
Even though I have a long way to go,
I still,
Came a LONG way..,

I would say,
My ego only likes being around people with my remaining “neurodivergent” struggles if we’re making a JOINT effort to overcome them..,
I guess I should NOT be that judgmental and therefore be more OPEN and therefore NOT be blinded by my insecure fragile ego,
(Since if I accept and open to MORE.. I guess I’ll (more likely) have LESS inner painful resistance to whatever is my inevitable present experience..(?)),
Yet (I feel) there’s often another person who uniquely triggers some kind(s) of frustration,
And as for writing,
Tests said I’d do “better” at mathematics..,
Yet although that may be a necessity,
It just did NOT gravitate towards my curiosity,
And well,
Since inspiration,
proper support,
(More likely),
A better developed ability..?
As for writing,
I’d say I showed a developed ability..?
That test scores,
Certain teachers and administrators,
Foreseen in me,

And as for what’s to come,
I feel there’s just that uncertainty

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