Friend or Drill Instructor

Who’s going to be there?
And who will criticize me without a care?

Who’s going to see my humanity?
Who’s going to dismissively mathematically analyze me?

Who’s going to view me as just a number?
Who’s going to see me as MORE?

Who’s going to unconsciously enforce what worked for them?
Who’s going to acknowledge that I respond and operate differently?

Who’s going to see my difference(s) as a deficiency?
Who’s going to see I have something important to offer if my needs are met sufficiently?

Who’s going to empathically acknowledge me?
Without calling me names that make me feel worse about what I already feel bad about?

Who’s going to see how much inner pain remains in me?
Who’s going to say I need to be “harder on myself” than I am already?

Whenever I act crazy,
Who’s going to truly understand me?
And who’s going to call me crazy and make me feel even more painfully crazy?

Who’s going to empathetically,
Kindly acknowledge my feelings to help me feel MORE meaningfully connected,
LESS in my head and LESS crazy!!?

Who is going to powerfully insult me?
Who is just going to fill me with more DAMAGING painful negativity?

Who truly wants to be my friend?
And who wants to sadistically instruct me?

Who wants to look deeply and work to clear their inner pain and insecurity?
And who just wishes to perpetually take it out on me?

Ohh I wish I could see,
Who it is safe to open up to,
More clearly

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