More often than Not

More often than not..,

When I don’t drink,
I take shit more personally,
I kill the vibe far more instantly,

When I drink I kill my brain cells,
And hurt my liver,

I know we all know,

And as for moderation and balance,
I just feel to be..,
To..,
“Chemically imbalanced”..,

Shit..,

And I guess the more I fail to control it..(?),
The more pain I’m feeling..(?),

Because if I can’t help but troll..,
Well..,
Something just may be inwardly unbearable,
So it’ll spill out without my control..(?),
For example..(?),

Not excusing..,
Just tryna keep understanding..,
Because something ain’t working..,

And I don’t know if more cognitive chemical experimenting is really helping..,
Been there done that,
Been prescribed that..,

And well..,
In an emergency I get it..,
Yet..,
If I’m always recreationally and/or trying to attain enough prescriptions to block out the shit..,

Then..,
What am I really learning from it..?

And I know..,
Too many are too overworked to really hear it..,

Inhale..,
..,
Exhale..,

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH