Even if I’m a “grown-ass momma’s boy”..(?),
Well..,
May it NOT make me feel more emotionally “imbalanced”..,
Several other egos may pretend to “care”,
Yet YOU did NOT need to reassure me you will be there,
Because your actions have and continue to show it,
And well,
Given the upcoming holiday,
Here’s something I have to say:
Since I’d guess(?) there’s a decent amount of other creatively written forms of expression(s) titled “Everyday”,
My obsessive fear of accidental “plagiarism” told me to make a different title,
Although every day,
(Aside from conventionally celebrated holidays),
I have so much to be grateful for,
That I may forget,
Which I feel I MUST remember can really help me survive through the day,
If I look deeply,
If I really look deeply..,
And,
Although you’re NOT on this platform,
Although my emotions may react too fast,
Increasing chances of my survival awareness flying dangerously far off track..(?),
..,
Although I feel I often may fail to go “slow and steady” since I often feel I’ll lose again anyway..(?),
Well,
Here’s something I still felt a need to share,
Something that I have to appreciate,
Every day,
In addition to the upcoming holiday,
And even if I forget what I have to appreciate daily,
Even if the negative forces blind me,
Well..,
There is also someone,
UNlike so many,
Who is truly there for me,
Even though I may presently NOT be nearly as financially and/or NOT as materialistically “successful” as most parents may “prefer”..,
?
Even though externally I may appear (to several others) as the biggest “fuck up” who “wasted” all he was “blessed to have”..(?),
And even if I fail to “do better” if I ever plan to have kids..,
Which as of now I do NOT,
Because I’m NOT going to take on a crucial responsibility,
if NOT ready,
REGARDLESS of how severely others may judge me..(?),
And I know it’s “easier said” evidently..,
Well,
Incase I forget to thank you on the certain day when everyone else may expect it..(?),
I want to say,
That every day,
I can remind myself,
How blessed I truly feel to be,
To have you as a mom,
Who NOT ONLY has supported me economically,
Yet who (for example) has ALSO advocated for me courageously,
Who has truly known what’s best for me,
Who was ALSO there emotionally,
And strongly continues to be,
Who continues to be a true friend,
Who continues to understand,
When so many others have just “had enough”,
And so many may NOT want me to “tell my mom”,
Because they have something to hide,
Because they’re insecure and like feeling power by giving me orders,
And well,
Since I feel so many just (seemingly) do NOT have the time,
Nor energy to want to put up with me,
Well,
You were and are always a more TRUE FRIEND,
Most others just may come and go,
Yet you stay strong for me,
In so many ways,
Infinitely beyond what is infinitely artistically “clearer to convey”,
Every day,
Every day,
And although it’s NOT YET Mother’s Day,
Although I may have so much more to say,
In a “clearer and clearer” way..,
In addition to the upcoming holiday,
?
I feel I can remind myself,
That you are still here with me,
To compassionately help me in my own most uniquely needed ways,
Through each day,
Every day,
Every day,
And I hope NO others reading this take it the “wrong way”,
Yet..,
I just wanted to share,
Something I have to be grateful for,
Day by day,
Thanks for reading
Zach Dana Writing 