My figurative Paranoia says:
If ego forces arise to the top of their internal emotional awareness authority,
I hope they do NOT want to torture me,
Nor brilliantly,
Be quick-witted,
To make me so deeply and hilariously paranoid as a way to “repay” their “generosity”,
Will the ego fire within any of them take this personally and then have them horrifically come after me..(?),
Saying I’m “sorry” for not joining will (I’d guess(?)) NOT save me,
Well,
To NOT burden their profoundly courageous goodness,
I’ll just once again try to learn how to remain safe,
From my own Fire,
Sadly,
I presently feel I:
Can NOT promise I’ll properly inspect it,
Can NOT promise I’ll clear enough distracting emotions to QUICKLY and SAFELY clearly comprehend it,
I just,
Will do all my deeper internal sentient physical awareness tells me,
To build up any newly needed pain tolerance,
Within whichever frightening degrees,
Unfortunately,
It just feels painfully easier said
Zach Dana Writing 