Changing Forms and Degrees

As usual (or as of however often) this creative writing is NOT meant to be taken personally..,

I guess..(?),
I am confused..(?),

Ahh!!
Forces of so-called magic acting in narcissistic-land prefer me to remain quiet as a mouse in a warehouse while the force of narcissism attain stands of stans..,
The toxic force might brilliantly emanate insecure and on brand “masculinity”,
As an unaware wannabe narcissistic celebrity..,

?

The nefarious ignition was on when I thought it was off..,
Fancy rhyme sequences appear to be used to attain large amounts of currency perpetually,
(In addition to whichever forces that operate in vain ongoingly..),

Huhhh..,
When I feel lost in a sea of currency..,
Others may just..,
Keep trying to judgmentally drag me down..,
Since those others just..,
Are contaminated by unconscious powerful forces of pain,
that remain,
perpetually unaware,
of how to rise up to the internal peaceful fresh air..,

All the bullshit just frightens me out of reality,

Shit..,
maybe I got caught in a self-contradicting system..(?),
and of course because of my look,
others may blame those like me for the problems with this unfortunate psychologically damaging system..,
MANIC PARANOIA OF POTENTIAL HORROR IT JUST MIGHT BE..(?),
Huhhh..,
I wish most do NOT act as scumbags..,
It’s deeply challenging..,
Finding and sustaining internal peace sufficiently,

I just did not cause all this dysfunction,
And attacking those powerless and who look like me,
will not heal the roots of any deeply unfortunate reality,

(Yeah I know (or I guess..(?)) I’m all over the place yet it’s just a lot..),

Whoever can piece together the longest length of attention of infinite forms in infinite directions just might be able to help me as long as we’re mutually understanding and NOT delusionally impulsively reprimanding..(?),
Who might interpret this delusionally narcissistically personally..(?),
Who would like to try making people into a fool by deliberately saying nonsense in order to confuse, intimidate,
and emotionally derail whoever (and however many) in order to have direct control of whoever (and however many)..(?),

Is it singularity or plurality..(?),
huhh..,
I wish people would stop trying to confuse me out of reality!!
I wish people would stop trying to provoke me into emotionally dysregulated unconsciousness,

I struggle to comfortably fit in and peacefully associate,
Yet other insecure forces of unconscious ego often feel to add to me feeling increasingly disassociated,
Because I’m emotionally hypersensitive,
Carry and struggle to let go of a lot,
Get caught up in forces of insecure pain..,
Which makes me an easy target,
For others to take out their anger on..,

Huhh..,
I’m like..,
“Come on..”,

And although I feel to NOT be the cause of others’ pain and struggle,
Several others might emotionally dump on me easily,
Because (for example)..,
I’m hypersensitive,
Susceptible to mania,
Fearful confusion..,
And overall,
Quite vulnerable,

Still..,
I’ll keep hanging in there,
As I pass through whichever changing forms and degrees of struggle