Chills Out

(Genre: Creative Writing (and it may need more work..(?)..whatever))

Hypothetically.. and yes somewhat personally against me.. and there’s more to it as for someone who wants to dismiss this as my “victim mentality”..,
Well..,
I can’t get all the precise details yet ANYWAY;

If the ground is concrete,
And if someone approaching me,
Has a shadow reflected behind he/she/them,
Which (therefore) neither of us can see,
In a warehouse where all the work was done before my anxious sleepless turn,
With the conveyor belts shut off,
pallets,
pallet jacks..,
Vacant trucks at night surrounded by narrow empty streets with mountains,
Large commercial buildings,
Dumpsters alongside,
Etc, etc..,

Ahh!!

I guess..(?)..;

Oh where..,
oh where is the FUCKING place must I hide!?
From the man,
Ready to tear my jaw apart,
Maybe even then additionally maim and decide to tie me down and run me over(!?),
All because I tried to politely say (something like) “what’s up man?” while passing by..,
And yes the dude ignored me which unleashed shit talking (as he said) “under my breath” while he confronted me with a menacing fist palm clap while threatening to “break my jaw” (yeah there’s more to that incident and I believe I wrote/typed more about it and may share (more) IF I feel safe enough online (and I say that because of all the hate lurking throughout..),
Yet..,
If this man would straight up ignore a simple calm affirmative “what’s up man?” while clocking out of our shift on a mid (if I remember correctly) July 21st, 2023 Friday night..,
Huhh..,
It’s just.. if that dude didn’t care to acknowledge me acting chill while simply acknowledging him,
why would he then care when I talked shit (because aside from him straight up ignoring me I was struggling to let go of so much shit.. so yeah when my internal volcanic rage erupted.., I talked shit to the wrong guy (said something like; (“alright just ignore me you asshole”) and I’m lucky (thanks to the security officer’s calm energy (among whoever else..) to be alive)..?
And (a part of me feels that) I ain’t responsible for the world’s pain and misfortune aside from getting my shit more and more together to align with inclusive interdependent advancement..,
Okay so yes,
in that sense..,
I guess perpetually further equipping myself to fulfill my part is being responsible for myself among interdependent inseparable intertwined civilized society on any level and however that may just be..(!?),

ANYWAY..,

And yeah..,
I guess it’s understandable why he’d say “no one cares” after I gave (what I guess can also be described as..(?)) a paranoid apology..,

Huhhh..,
Yes I did transfer..,
Yet what if he finds a way to sneak into the premises,
When everyone else,
Heads home in the dark and scary night..,

Yep.. there’s various entrances..,

Ohh..,
The remote commercial vacant fright!!

I’ve been obsessively inspecting my safe space at night..,

Yep..,

Another sleepless night!!

May more and more of us increasingly inhale,
Exhale and dissipate the internal accumulated post traumatic grudgeful hate..,

Yet I guess it’s perpetually unpredictable..(?),
So therefore,
Well,
I’m safe now..

Just..
Wow..

I wish him the best,
I hope he feels better..,

Man..,
Aside from anyone’s’ surrounding forces underlying perpetual changing awareness,
Surfacing as varying degrees of unconscious/conscious choices,
decisions and/or addictions..,
Huhh..,
I just hope that..,
Hope feels less hopeless,
So all of inseparable elaborate whatever it is,

Chills the forces of fuck out