Thank You

(Please do NOT take this personally.. and only read this if you want to..),

Yeah I still feel sad and lonely..,
And as it increases..,
It feels to add tension in my chest gradually..,

And feeling pressure to remain focused around others who I assume are also scared and confused,
Has often felt to make my (once organized) thoughts spiral down into deepening confusion..,
Resulting in deeper fears of becoming sucked into even more fearful sleepless delusion..,

I..,
Just want someone who will NOT reprimand me from a distance while I’m in additional emotional intensely changing isolation..,
So I’d guess that however often..,
not responding to my emotional desperation,
Could be a better choice and/or decision..?
Right..?

Ahh!!
I am trying to continue taking responsibility,
Yet as usual I feel to receive criticism that teaches me nothing,
And if I confront a person who wants to criticize myself,
I often assume that the person will just feel criticized because the person who criticizes someone like me probably hates criticizing his/her/their self the same (and/or in however similar) ways right!!?

And THEREFORE maybe the person will criticize me for not taking criticism of whichever form and extent directly and/or indirectly because the person won’t likely sufficiently understand that I do NOT need more of the same critical reprimands that did not help me have more confidence within myself before (because he/she/they) was NOT there.. right!!?

I’m sorry for saying sorry to those I can’t change,
Because (I feel that) saying sorry won’t help those who I can’t help..,
So why apologize..?
Why!!?

Bahhhhhh!!!!!

I’ll try to chill..,
again..,

And yes,
I am grateful to presently still have a safe space to survive in!!
I am!!

So thank you!!!!