(This is an attempt at organizing words into additional words..),

As for anyone who feels forced to remain awake at times increasingly painfully out of our most deeply presently essential needs to sleep, may more and more of us, become more and more peacefully able to distinguish between emotionally inflated dreams and reality.

(I guess that a genre I can call this is “two creative stanzas”..(?))

Speaking for how several of my presently held viewpoints appear to be telling myself,
individuals of various personal histories that appear to have resulted in social and geographically experientially influenced sentient interdependent inseparable identifications decide to dangerously conveniently dismissively tell myself,
what the tired and breaking part of me might eventually exclaim, will be “fuck off and may you unfuck yourself into another universe where you do NOT aggressively walk all over those who are trying to remain focused on improving themselves to help others”..,

and because I struggle to remain focused, unfortunately,
when becoming intimidated to the point of being no longer able to function,
well,
I most probably will forget to say,
even some of that

(Please understand that this is NOT meant to be taken personally (in whichever form and to whichever extent of any individual and/or collective level..(?)),

(Genre: I really don’t have an answer. Therefore, if it’s fair of me to say, I would guess that this is an “attempted introspective and experientially created presently held opinionated poem” if that’s fair to say..(?)),

Here it is:

Regardless of my personal imperfections that have come to determine how I struggle to survive in other highly pressured and terrifyingly large,
heavy and loud environments,

I would just like to add my opinion which I presently feel to be interpreting,
which I guess is that..(?),
the LESS that others are able to LISTEN to how a MORE repeatedly physically and emotionally traumatized individual expresses himself,
the MORE likely that individual will suppress even MORE rage without the amount of consideration required,
Of those who struggle to NOT force (any form and extent of) their solidified viewpoints onto that individual,
while sincerely claiming to “help” him..(for example),

And,
Tragically,
That individual might (more likely) remain spiritually and interdependently inseparable from all the physically stronger and more agile sentient scumbags,
who prefer to threaten that (in this case) MORE physically vulnerable individual to his face,
in a place,
Where he remains forced to arrive at,
While repeating the same tasks,
Repeatedly to the point of reducing all his hard earned intentionally peaceful intelligence of which he struggled to achieve while labeled at a slower pace,
In order to more clearly comprehend what has been reasonably expected of him to understand as he continues to travel through life,

So I guess(?) that one conclusion (and/or question) that I could try to form is that,
How is increasingly working in places that are MORE monotonous and physically exhausting truly perpetuating any possible infinite forms of dangerous,
impulsive and inconsiderate,
survival of the most presently powerful oppositional behavior,
While others of various forms and levels of less physical mobility remain brutally in between,
!!?
So as for wherever this could remain presently occurring (of which I am (also) unaware of),
I certainly presently hope that it is,
reducing

(Disclaimer: This is NOT meant to be taken personally.. Thanks!!)

GENRE: SHORT CREATIVE DIALOGIC FICTION, or a SHORT PLAY..?

For mature audiences only..

While returning home from school, a student calls his Dad to tell him how his first semester went. As his Dad drives, he clicks a button to put the phone on speaker.

Son: Hey Dad I just got home from college.
Dad: What’d you major in..? “No Fap Studies” in your shitass abode you dirty sentient inseparable fuck!!
Son: Wait what..?
Dad: Wow..
Son: No but like—
Dad: “No but like” you don’t understand! You don’t know how fortunate you—
Son: No but like—
Dad: LET ME FINISH!!
Son: No but what I’m trying to say is—
Dad: That’s it.. I’m calling an ambulance, you’re done. I’ll see you—

Their signal becomes cut off..

Although my actions have been far from perfect.. and aside from that I believe perfection is infinite in various forms and/or directions..,

I feel that,
for example;
If someone tries to make it clear that we’re (or any of us is..) burdening him,
it does NOT (always) mean he doesn’t empathize with why we are the way we are,
I feel that;
it just means that his rights are equally as important,

So essentially (for example),
although any others can understand (or agree) that our social and/or geographical experiences underlie our internal choice (and/or decision) making awareness that changes over time,
(I believe that) we still must try NOT to..,
burden others while aspiring to fulfill a better job at catching ourselves in the act of burdening others..,

Because even if we’re a “creative individual”,
there were also those who came before us,
who made it possible for us to be creative in the first creative safe space..,

And even if this is “obvious”..,

Well,
how often,
And in what way,
and to which extent,
Are we ethically regarding this..?

What does our actions say about us in relation to this..?

So I guess that..(?),
(And obviously including myself..),
May more and more of us remember to start by inhaling..,
exhaling..,
internally noticing..,
while actually increasing the form and extents of helping how we claim to be helping..,

Right..?

(Genre: Fictional dialogue practice/a short play..),
(The reason why I chose not to include seemingly real names, is because nowadays, whether it’s felt individually and/or collectively, I fear that too many others will take this personally..),

Person #1: The less we can take a joke, the more that joke will take us into confusion. The more offended that we become by that joke, the more we’ll remain awake, reducing chances of us remaining balanced.
Person #2: He’s not well.
Person #3: I know. I know.
Person #1: Because if—
Person #2: SHUT UP!!
Person #1: And that is why you need sleep.
Person #3: And you need self-awareness because you’re lost in your mind again.
Person #2: Wait what..?
Person #3: Where’s his fucking medication!?
Person #2: Oh right.. sorry boss.

Person #1 continues preaching to himself..

Person #3: We’ll help get that dangerous hypocritical fuck off this shit as soon as possible.. We will..
Person #1: Doesn’t sound like it..
Person #3: You know wha—
Person #2: Watch out!!

Before Person #1 gets the chance to murder Person #3, Person #2 instantly knocks him out..

Person #1: Okay you’re free to go.

Person #1 releases Person #2 from the understaffed psych ward facility, yet tragically the rock climbing group that Person #2 was suggested to go hang out with to get off her phone were actually the same sex traffickers who conquered all the drug distribution facilities.. I know.. crazy right..?

(Genre: A short cautionary play)
(Note from myself: Please do NOT take this personally.. nor in however of any negative way, yet since I fear that certain people will, I chose to NOT include any seemingly real names, while instead naming each character literally as “Person” and then therefore giving that character a number. As always, thanks for reading!),

Although I as the narrator believe that getting out in nature is important, still, may “getting off” our “phones” and “out into nature” NOT imply becoming like several of the assholes we might spend time watching on our phones..

Cautionary (Fictional) Hypothetical Example #1:

Person #1: Yo dude let’s get out in nature man! Person #2: Yeah man! Let’s go cliff diving!!
Person #3: Right on dude!

And then they’re never seen, and never heard from again..

Cautionary (Fictional) Hypothetical Example #2:

While rock climbing..

Person #1: You got it bro! You’re almost there!!
Person #2: Oh shit!!
Person #3: Sorry!! Sorry!!
Person #4: You fucking asshole!!
Person #1: Didn’t we fucking go over where to NOT lead others!!?
Person #3: Yeah I mean..
Person #1: You mean to tell us that he’s fucking dead because you peer pressured him to climb without a harness right behind you before you realized you accidentally kicked a bunch of rocks down his way!!
Person #3: Bro like I didn’t—
Person #2: We know you didn’t mean to because you didn’t fucking think enough about his safety!! Way to go you fucking shithead..

(Genre: I guess I can say this is.. four person Fictional Dialogue Practice..(?), or maybe this is a “short play”..?)
(I chose not to give the characters names since it seems people can’t stop taking everything personally nowadays.. I also chose not to give the characters names because if one person takes something personally, that individual might literally try to turn others against myself.. and/or try justifying something terrifying against myself.. hope that makes sense, and as always, thanks for reading this!),

Here it is:

Person #1: If you’re making art to “inspire” others into preventing what you want to prevent, then what are YOU actually doing to prevent that..?
Person #2: I’m inspiring others.
Person #1: No I’m NOT saying you can’t be an artist I’m just saying—
Person #2: I’m inspiring others.
Person #1: May I finish!?
Person #3: He’s saying that he’s inspiring others to help.
Person #1: But what is he doing to help!?
Person #2: Inspiring others.
Person #1: Help.. me..
Person #4: I’m confused..
Person #1: As we all are..
Person #4: Wait what..?
Person #1: Look, you can all have your hobbies if you do it in moderation, yet what I’m saying is that, since we all are now at a point of never again being able to increase our physical pain tolerance, how are we going to protect ourselves out in the wild when we become kicked out of the state for not having the courage to keep a job!?
Person #4: Just don’t quit.
Person #1: You know what!?
Person #3: What’s he talking about?
Person #1: Our fucking safe space is falling apart, because all you dumb fucks do, is sleep and jack off, while I’m out there trying to defend your asses!!
Person #3: What are you saying..? All you do is type on your iPhone and post to your WordPress blog..
Person #1: Oh you are so wrong!!

And then, the four individuals fight to the death, as the enemy decides to not fire, yet instead decides to laugh, laugh, and perpetually laugh, until several of the enemy forces stumble and fall into their own torture locations of which they brutally inspired others to create.

I feel that;

With all the anger out there,
It’s felt hard to not react,

It’s felt hard to just,
Witness while remaining sufficiently able to distinguish between hurtful emotional energy directed at me (that (also) reacts within me) and reality (in whichever form(s) to whichever extent(s)),

It’s felt hard to just,
Notice and allow myself to attain and sustain my own internal peace..,

So yes,
I’ll just continue trying to witness,
While remembering to develop and/or regain an ability to,
Distinguish between emotional intensity that fills myself,
And actual reality,

And (for example) regardless of any others’ “justifications” for threatening me,
Taunting me,
And/or (of whichever form to whichever extent) adding to a painful emotional reaction within me,

Well,
I can still notice it,
Without becoming swept away in its’ current then reacting severely unconsciously destructively,

So,
Although it has felt hard,
I feel that,
It is still possible for myself to just,
Remain centered,
Witness the reactions (emotional and/or physical),
While NOT letting them shape my points of view NOR underlie my actions,

I can still practice,
Noticing the internal sensations,
Noticing the changing frequencies of internal expansions and contractions,
While remaining centered,
And NOT destroying (and/or however harming myself) in destructive externally manifested reactions (and/or actions),

I again can just,
Witness,
And NOT destructively react

(As usual.., please do NOT take this personally, thanks for reading!),
(Genre: A poem.. I guess..(?)),

If I’m truly “mishandling” packages and making the distribution process “harder”,
Getting more angry at me among whoever,
Is NOT going to make the workplace energy more clear and peacefully centered in order for the distribution process to “recover”,

There’s so much anger out there..,
And some days I worry about becoming strapped down and/or however..,
RUN OVER BY A TRUCK..,

Yes,
I have been terrified,

Yet if I’m doing something “wrong”,
Well,
It’s not only me,

Because other essential workers,
Also (understandably (more of less)) talk shit,
Also tear apart team spirit,
Also fuck up due to whatever personally traumatic histories..,

So as for that truck driver who told my boss to “hit me” in response to me getting scared by him that one time and “6 months ago” before that..(essentially I just got surprised twice.. no big deal..),

Yet..,
As for that truck driver who..,
Exclaimed “it’s all because of this stupid fucking kid” as I heard him bang shit on my bosses radio,
(Yeah I’m pretty sure it was the same individual (referring to me..)),

Well,
If that individual wants to keep it real with me,
Well,

Unlike my past,
I will this time pick myself up off the ground,
And firmly stand my ground,

I will be,
Strong and centered,

Because this isn’t “all because of me”,
Because I’m NOT going to give power to another less neurodivergent,
Less socially challenged much older bully,

So IF (and only IF) this guy tries to attack me,
I will stand strong and ready,
While doing my best,
To kick his ass,
To beat him to the ground,

Because this time,
(I hope that..),
It won’t be me,
Who lies hurt on the ground