(Request: Please do NOT hack this.., and please do NOT take this personally..)
(Acknowledgement: Thanks for the readership support, and only read this if you want to.. Thanks!)

One reason and/or I guess (for example) is that (I feel that)..,
as for pertaining to why I feel tempted to overthink and/or parenthetically over explain when I write,
is because I still fear certain others stealing credit, and then trying to use it (“it” (in this context) being what I write and make public) to horrifyingly divide others,
such as by equating any group of people as any single,
double and/or multiple dialogue characters..,

And because of horrific history’s terrifying repetitive possibility..,
well..,
did I really “not need” to post this..(?),

And I guess aside from scattered and disorganized thinking..(?),
I really don’t know..(?),
in addition to (and/or aside from..!?) my perpetual hope for the perpetual decrease of suffering..,
and if that wasn’t explained clearly,
well,
I hope that it does NOT lead to any form and/or degree of torturing NOR killing!!

I guess..(?),
THEREFORE,
May all of us inclusively (if not start to..) keep aspiring in a morally correct direction,
which is I guess(?) what I’m trying to say in addition to conveying deep fears of which I WISH for others to HEAR while helping with the effort to continually try to avoid!!

And lastly I’ll say that,
the more I feel pressure to receive favors from several others (practically) at once,
the more I (sometimes and/or however often) fear those same others coming to torture me when they all realize the impossibility of me repaying all of them just perfectly..,

So yes,
I (therefore) am powerless against a sadistic group mentality,
And I (I’ll say it again..) hope to (obviously) NEVER become tortured!!

Thank you for reading!

And as always,
We keep continuing!!

(Genre; A short one part (and OBVIOUSLY fictional play..(?)))

(Disclaimer: Please do NOT take this personally. I advise reader discretion, and, I am NOT responsible for the actions of any others who may and/or may not happen to read any of this. Much love. Stay strong!),

The one and only part 1:

Person #1: You know, just please like.. stop with the parenthetical figures of speech that you literally intend to use to emotionally provoke and distract others with!!
Person #2: Dude no! I don’t intend it like that!!
Person #3: Yeah you do..
Person #1: Well we’re all distracted right now with this wasteful discussion!!
Person #2: Okay.. now you’re being a bully by standing so big and tough spoken in my face!! Chill down your testosterone man!!
Person #1: Okay wise ass!!
Person #2: I ain’t playing!!
Person #1: Damn righ—

Person #2 fatally knocks out Person #1 before he has time to finish his concluding viewpoints..

Person #2: Oh.. wait.. wait..!?
Person #1: Way to go asshole!!
Person #2: He wouldn’t stop provoking me!! It’s not fair!! I have been sleepless!! I literally almost bent down onto a broken pallet leaning against a roller with a wooden spike standing straight up while trying to clean up the other broken pieces!! It missed my left eye by a couple inches!! I’ve been working longer, and now my life is over!! It’s not fair!! You have to understand that he wouldn’t leave me alone!!!!!

Then, Person #1, takes out a gun, and after shooting Person #2, Person #1 becomes shot by a sniper.. and then the sniper becomes killed, by another in a discrete location, and then, the society becomes more isolated in fear and video chats.., as the infrastructure falls apart and as resources become used up due to an overflowing population. And since (as the narrator) I intended for this to be a very short one part play. I guess that is the end. Thanks for reading!!

(Please do NOT hack and please do NOT delete this WordPress.com blog out of anger NOR whichever “reasons”..),

(Also, please, do NOT take this Personally. Sometimes I write and share stuff for anyone who possibly can relate..(?). It’s my right. As for the genre: I’d say this is another short one part play..(?)).

The one and only Part 1:

Garry returns from work to his mom’s basement..

Garry: Hey so, I’m really sorry about what my Dad has been going through. And it has felt hard losing my step-dad.. I have been taking my prescriptions to chill myself out during this period. If anything, I guess what I regret the most is not becoming a doctor to help my Dad through his operations.. Anyway, thanks for being able to care for him. I would have been there yet I have been struggling to hold this job that he’s been pushing me to not quit. I just have been going through some changes and shit.. I am worried about my mom while she makes arrangements for my step-father.. I hope you’ve been well..
Karla: Garry, I feel you. Yet, you should not be texting me at this hour! It is midnight! I raised three kids, I have a company to run, and seven of my employees depend on me to help their families! I’ve tried to help you! I’ve tried telling you what and how I feel you should best care for yourself! Yet I’m starting to realize that you don’t care for yourself in ways I’ve suggested.. It is deeply inappropriate for you to be trying to contact me at this hour! So please, stop!!
Garry: Sorry! I was just looking to vent.. I’ve been struggling because the times I’ve been expected to arrive at work have been changing, which has been screwing up my sleep schedule, causing me to become emotionally dysregulated and hypomanic.. Practically no one has been responding to my messages.. I get it, people are stressed. Yet since my mom has been putting up with me a lot, I decided to vent to you and leave her alone while she works on memorial arrangements for my step-father.
Karla: If you’re worried about your mom! You need to tell her, instead of waking me up after midnight! It is very inconsiderate! And again, it is NOT my responsibility to care for you in addition to everything else that I’ve been struggling with myself!
Garry: Sorry! Sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! That’s not what I meant!
Karla: So stop messaging me!!
Garry: Okay! You can block me. It’s fine.

Garry, sits on his couch by himself then messages someone else named Nelson..

Garry: You dude I just got told off by someone.. She’s been trying to get me on Vyvanse while I’ve kept trying to make it clear that that’ll worsen my manic episodes..

Nelson gets sarcastic by referring to Garry’s High-Functioning autism as “severe”..

Nelson: Garry, I know you have severe autism, yet it’s not my job to hold your hand as you journey through life! I know it sounds harsh, yet me, and all us dudes have careers. So get your shit together, and stop adding stress to our lives!
Garry: Sorry, I really didn’t mean it like that! Like I’m sorry..

Nelson doesn’t respond.. Garry then messages a third person the next day..

Garry: Hey man you got a sec?
Jeremy: Yo! Stop fucking sending me all your problems like this! I ain’t your therapist!! Fucking stop!!

And then, Garry stands up, gets his baseball bat, vandalizes his bedroom, and after eventually calming himself down, he cleans up the mess, while his mom’s partner Edwin knocks on his door..

Edwin: Garry..?
Garry: Leave me alone!
Edwin: Garry! What was all that noise!!?
Garry: Leave me alone!! I want some respect!! I want some fucking respect!!

Well,
Is it true,
That the more I feel to be on the negative receiving end,
The more I’ll lose confidence..?

Is it true..,
That the more I’m on the receiving end,
The more I’ll shut down in fear when frequent personal questions that pertain to me and my family attack me at once..?

Yeah..,
It’s hard..,
No pun intended..,

Bahhhh!!!

(#1: Please do NOT take THIS PERSONALLY..),

(#2: Disclaimer: Yes, I am NOT responsible for anyone’s actions subsequent to reading this. As always, thanks for your digital readership (and/or viewership) support),

(#3: Genre: I guess this is another short one Part play),

The one and only Part 1:

Person #1: Why fight fire in order to create fire..? Why become another spark in the fire..? Man.. who is lurking behind the scenes now..? Right.. or WRONG!!?
Person #2: You good boss..?
Person #3: Wait what..?

Person #1 turns into a sassy militant..

Person #1: So!! You had a lot of free time huh baby boy??

And then, person #2 gets mad..

Person #2: Yeah.. you did have a lot of free time huh..? Ewwwwww..
Person #3: What’s the matter with freedom of thought..? Got a problem with it..?
Person #2: It’s just that, you had too much freedom, and now it’s our turn!!
Person #1: Wait! Where’d he go!?
Person #2: Haha!!

And then, person number 3 becomes knocked out, strapped down, set on fire, until eventually becoming accidentally run over by an inebriated truck driver while struggling with his alcoholic harm reduction practice.. And yes.. I don’t understand either.. Yet all I can do, is I guess, wish each other well, because as the narrator.. and as for some more rhymes.. I fear I brutally won’t be able to tell, when and IF the forces of evil and higher physical pain tolerances, drag me down, into the forces of dangerous unconscious torture, instead of those forces pulling themselves up.. Well, I hope everyone stays safe.. And yeah, because I can’t do anything, I just hope all humans chill out! Yep.. I’m manic again, so now, I will try to sleep.. safely. And as always, thanks for reading!! And for real, if you’re struggling, all I presently can do is remain there in spirit, and if that is hard to hear, well, I’m sorry, yet, I’m trying to build up my own pain tolerance.., which I guess that several others might struggle to tolerate..!? Because if I truly want to build up my physical pain tolerance, well, I don’t wish to run into a narcissistic trap. Stay safe, stay well. Yes.. I feel it’s easier said, yet.. I just haven’t always felt able to build myself up physically without (freaking emoji just popped up..) poisoning my head.. YES!! SORRY IF I SOUND AS AN ASS..? HOWEVER please remember the disclaimer!! WHICH I GUESS ESSENTIALLY CAN DROP DOWN TO; PLEASE TRY TO MUTUALLY INCLUSIVRLY REDUCE THE EXTENT TO WHICH OTHERS EXPERIENCE TORTURE IF YOU’RE IN A POSITION OF POWER!!

(For one, please do NOT take this personally!!),

(Also.. I’m not exactly sure what genre this is..(?), For one it’s in stanzas, yet the punctuation is not in the form of an essay.. so could this be regarded as a “poem”..(?), I guess..(?)),

For example;

What if the more someone wishes to brag about his higher pain tolerance,
the less others listening to his bragging will learn, causing those others listening to the man’s bragging,
to want to harm themselves to get away from his brutal control,
yet sadly then becoming charged with being a “harm to oneself” when trying to escape from him and his bragging,
and then being secretly tortured by some form of authority who profits by claiming to help those who are judged as a harm to their “self”..(!?),
crazy right..!?

I also wish to never wind up in this type of situation,
NOR anything similar NOR worse,
so therefore as usual,
what I have to say is,
keep remaining safe!!

(Please do NOT take this personally.. and only read this if you want to..),

Yeah I still feel sad and lonely..,
And as it increases..,
It feels to add tension in my chest gradually..,

And feeling pressure to remain focused around others who I assume are also scared and confused,
Has often felt to make my (once organized) thoughts spiral down into deepening confusion..,
Resulting in deeper fears of becoming sucked into even more fearful sleepless delusion..,

I..,
Just want someone who will NOT reprimand me from a distance while I’m in additional emotional intensely changing isolation..,
So I’d guess that however often..,
not responding to my emotional desperation,
Could be a better choice and/or decision..?
Right..?

Ahh!!
I am trying to continue taking responsibility,
Yet as usual I feel to receive criticism that teaches me nothing,
And if I confront a person who wants to criticize myself,
I often assume that the person will just feel criticized because the person who criticizes someone like me probably hates criticizing his/her/their self the same (and/or in however similar) ways right!!?

And THEREFORE maybe the person will criticize me for not taking criticism of whichever form and extent directly and/or indirectly because the person won’t likely sufficiently understand that I do NOT need more of the same critical reprimands that did not help me have more confidence within myself before (because he/she/they) was NOT there.. right!!?

I’m sorry for saying sorry to those I can’t change,
Because (I feel that) saying sorry won’t help those who I can’t help..,
So why apologize..?
Why!!?

Bahhhhhh!!!!!

I’ll try to chill..,
again..,

And yes,
I am grateful to presently still have a safe space to survive in!!
I am!!

So thank you!!!!

(If you don’t want to read this, don’t read this),

Well,
Here’s another belief I can’t prove..,
“What if secret robot algorithmic intelligence assumes that I’ll slide my right thumb to the left of this iPhone in order to hurt my emotional feelings right after my sleep schedule has been messed up..”(?),
Right after having taken what I’ve been prescribed..,
Ahhhh!!

Who, what, where, when, why, and how come!? Would someone call the ambulance because I hurt their emotional feelings!!?

My feelings feel that the more monotonous forces of expectations expect of me to remain as,
The more I’ll be forced to block out my emotional feelings!!

And I’m sorry if me writing this feels hard to read,
I’m sorry,
And of course I believe in the development of helpful technology..,
Yet..,
I don’t know..(?),

Of course,
Giving another apology for NOT studying harder won’t help me and/or whoever else who truly needs help to arrive prepared..,
Yeah I forgot my next point..,
Yet why do I deserve to be scared..(!?),

Ahhhh!!
I feel so much pressure to follow rules that feel too continually increase in silent pressure..,

Yep,
Time to put this phone down,
Goodnight,
Stay safe

For example: What would be the cause of others intimidating anyone else to the point of scaring them into isolation, all out of a yearning to make the individual feel guilty for having too much free time..!? Could it be a fearful temptation to shut down the individual whose unintended differences are assumed as highly dangerous..? I guess there’s always an infinite conclusion which infinitely expands in all directions..? Right..?

For example;

Does forcing an apology always sufficiently address the causes of what led to the involuntary set of actions of one that resulted in several others demanding an apology..?

I don’t know..?

You..?