History Clash

I’m sick of being misunderstood, A lot of others are sick too, Sometimes our sickness clashes which has built as a result of what we been through,

Other’s paranoia may increase due to me, I struggle with how I come across due to poor articulation ability as a result of slow executive functioning and anxiety, causing others to not know what to expect of me, I fear misunderstandings, One is sometimes being a victim of police brutality, It’s not clear who’s a threat to organized society, Seems like that can be interpreted variously especially..

I’ve been given a lot of sarcasm and now easily assume it, I’ve received a lot of bullying and often think others are doing that,

For a long time I’ve suppressed standing up for myself and I struggle inwardly not lose it, I haven’t let go of most of it,

I can’t be “scared straight” for too long, since the unawareness forces may become too strong, so my attention isn’t always focused on consequences, If I’m not helped how to let go of it, it will come out of me unexpectedly uncontrollably,

If you’re frustrated and shake your head in response to me there’s no guarantee I’ll respond peacefully regardless of what you’re going through or your history, It really takes discipline to sustain rationality, Unfortunately I don’t often feel it’s in me, We can always attain and maintain the discipline to not repeat history,

I wish I didn’t have learning disabilities, So I could better appreciate the work of Noam Chomsky, Even if the picture is painted clearly, I still might not understand adequately,

I still struggle with “executive functioning”, slow information connecting and processing, and high anxiety and low confidence due to past experience.. 

I know I already talked about at least some of this, But I continue to respond similarly to experience