Speeded Up

I’ve confided deep personal stuff in people who never wanted to be my friend, I predicted the falling out in the beginning, Ha.. I was thinking of saying “in the end” honestly, To me that was irony..

But yeah.. fucking people.. 

I never meet standards.. I feel more self-aware since I didn’t sleep, Maybe since my mind is speeded up so my “executive functioning” feels more “normal”.. I talk too much about my label, It’s painful feeling vulnerable, “Autists” like me are “slow” at information processing,

I don’t like how much I care what others are thinking, Whether I truly have autism or not, I just want to appreciate more of the present moment, In which life is happening..

My sleep-deprived manic mind just wants to keep rambling, I think I’m gonna try meditating, in bed, so I don’t get forced on medication, And get more fucked in the head..

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