Results From, or results in.. What ??

My mom is pregnant and has bad morning sickness,
Which becomes,
So bad that it results in a DESPERATE need for alleviation,
Which results in her insurance companies compulsively hedonistically saving money by NOT paying for an IV out of their OWN personal insecurity,
But turning to the hedonistic drug industry that will CHEAPLY sell them Phenergan,

Resulting in,
Me developing brutally atypical learning challenges,
Resulting in less emotional challenges,
Resulting in less emotionally challenged, less socially challenged, and less learning challenged children picking up on my UNUSUAL lack of confidence among any other conspicuous weakness (out of their own insecurity exacerbated by their environment, etc..),
Resulting in them being mean to me,
To try and block out their own insecurity and seeking to feel secure to try and dominate me by being mean to me to prove to themselves their authority over me,
Which results in,
Me developing emotional problems as I become older,
Which results in BRUTAL perfectionist obsessive compulsive behavior,
Which results in me never wanting to be bullied again,
Which results in a temptation to emanate huge aggression for anyone I assume will deliberately give me more greatly excessive pain and/or oppression,
Which results in me getting anxiety, paranoia, and sleep deprivation,
Which results in me becoming dependent on recreational or prescribed medication to block out painful out of control emotion,
Which results in greater fear of winding up in a brutal institution..
Which results in relying on more medication whenever I experience regression,
Which results in me hedonistically relying on a “quick fix” solution to block out painful obsessive compulsive insecure emotion,
Which results in me worrying about developing some new future health condition like diabetes from all my sugar consumption as an example of a medication (or substance? (maybe that’s a stupid question?)) to block out deep painful emotion,
To conveniently help me keep going “through the motions” I need to go through,
for my survival to continue,

Which results in (or “Resulting in”..) me feeling sucked in and trapped in the dominant culture of “quick fix” hedonistic fixation, in which I came to being in,

Which results in me losing confidence in my ability to make and sustain better decisions for greater peace, happiness and fulfillingness when “going through the motions”,

Which results in me NOT seeking confidence in seeking REAL and TRUSTWORTHY individuals who want to join me in a journey of experiencing present experience the way we TRULY want and prefer,


Resulting in me “checking in”,
On why I really been making my decisions,
Which then results in,
Whatever else it results in..

Such as writing a blog post in which I’m not sure what to title it..
“Results In or Resulting In”



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