I hear a woman politely responding “happy new year”,
To the other well-adjusted customers,
As I leave I say “happy new year!”
And she overtly,
In front of everybody,
ignores me..,

And last night,
At a New Years social function,
Surrounded by around 100 others..,
I also remained by myself,
Which wasn’t a surprise..
Due to coming across the way I do,
As someone mildly-autistic,
With brutal emotional sensitivity,
That was exacerbated by others,
Which built up WORSE insecurity,
You can guess the story..

Thanks to how others treat me..
A big part of me,
Doesn’t care,
If all the careless,
Apathetic and insecure assholes destroy the planet..

Yet it’s unfortunate,
That they’re bringing me down with them,
Even though they don’t like me,
And I therefore struggle having compassion for them..,

(And I know I’m judging them in response to them judging me..
And even though it was obvious,
Just thought I’d try to respectfully acknowledge this..)

It is what it PRESENTLY is,
Such as..
what I’m presently carrying in my past,
Including despair I have for my own,
And the planet’s future..

If I’m wrong..
Then great!!

But what a big part of me,
Continues to hate..
Is that,
With the ubiquitous fossil fuel industry,
Why would “97 percent of climate scientists..” who have CONCLUDED that climate change is PRIMARILY a MAN MADE PROBLEM.. ACCORDING TO MULTIPLE STUDIES, ACCORDING TO NASA..,
(As you can research on Google or Safari.. here’s one link anyway: https://climate.nasa.gov/scientific-consensus.amp),
Are “bribed” by the invisible “trillion dollar” renewable energy company which I still don’t see even though it’s a “trillion dollar industry”..

Sure it could be a “trillion dollar industry”.. but what’s FAR MORE POWERFUL?? SERIOUSLY??

Instead of 3 percent of climate scientists being bribed by the freaking WAY MORE POWERFUL AND EVERYDAY fossil fuel industry..

Yeah I get it,
Making changes isn’t easy,

And it’s easier to conveniently deny the reality,
Although we still KNOW,
Time catches up EVENTUALLY..,

And I for sure have allowed my obsessive insecurity,
Prevent me,
From sufficiently consistently,
Joining efforts to,
Save life and civilization on Earth..

And welp..
No matter how deep we understand micro and macro issues..

At least..
As for us tragically,
Not working towards accessing and discovering more and more of our infinitely infinite conscious and/or as needed thinking ability..

I guess it’ll be over eventually..


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