True Service

How can I to the best of my present ability,
Serve all sentient beings on earth?
Without being forced to hurt and/or kill?

How can I reduce killing,
How can I defend and protect myself and others,
Without being forced into escalating unconscious violence?
Or whatever form(s) of unconscious harmfulness?

I guess I could practice awareness,
To practice writing and expressing,
To facilitate internal cleansing?
To inspire more to join me on an inner development path of ongoing meaningful conscious discovery,
INSTEAD of,
Conforming to,
Unconscious tribalistic/nationalistic insecure, sadistic,
masochistic,
distorted,
misguided,
awareness and/or internal emotional/cognitive capability impinged and/or inhibited dominant mentality..,

Even if I’m forced to do something against my beliefs,
Such as joining an evil,
oppressive,
exploitive violent institution and/or military or whichever type of dysfunctional hierarchy,
Who falsely claims to spread “peace, love and democracy”,
Yet in reality is out for the insatiable inwardly unconscious insecure externally seeking interests who either impulsively hide and/or can’t see the suffering they create and perpetuate..,

Even if my physical safety gets threatened,
Yes,
I will try defending myself,
Yet,
I feel I must also inwardly prepare myself,
To suffer the least I can when faced with the most inevitable brutality that most directly harms me,

I can learn to defend myself as best I can if ever necessary,
Yet,
I can only defend myself from so many,
So there’s a point where I’ll be forced to literally surrender,

HOWEVER,
Regardless of violent tragedy,
As I go through life,
As I internally clear insecure inhibitions to prepare myself the best for whatever comes my way,
Along with traveling down a chosen path to seek truth for a more and more meaningful gratifying present experience,
..
I can SURRENDER,
By LETTING GO of creating excessive inner awareness/cognitive functioning inhibiting tension,
(Initially in unconscious reactionary response to painful adverse experiences),
..
So I can surrender,
And/or I guess “let go” of..,
Unconsciously adding to,
What makes me less clear and more in pain,

I can surrender,
And not feed,
Egoic expectation pressure,
And redirect my attention,
To cleansing more and more unconscious built up insecurity,
To allow internal room,
To make it more likely for,
Discovering,
More and more capability in myself that I can utilize for myself and others,
Without being inhibited by ego expectation pressure to succeed,

So yes,
By writing what I feel a need to share for myself and others,
For whoever,
To whatever extents they have or don’t have the same atypical (autistic) condition as me,
I still hope what I tried to put into words based on the degree I believe I understand what I learned from my experience(s),
Is at least part of my,
sufficient,
Attempted,
service,

That is hopefully sufficiently in alignment with what I believe as true,
And essential,
For doing my part,
To try helping life feel,
Less painful,
And more,
Worthwhile,

I’m doing the best I feel I presently can,
With avoiding as much as I can of what I feel is harmful and immensely out of alignment with my beliefs,
Yet,
Similar to what I mentioned earlier,
if I become forced,
or sucked into unconsciously acting out of alignment with what I feel as important truth,
Well,
I hope that wherever I’m at,
That I’ll sufficiently consciously remind myself,
To respond the best I can for myself and any sentient others,
The best I can,

Ideally and practically speaking,
I hope that doing stuff such as sharing writing,
Is sufficiently fulfilling what I feel is my meaningful fruitful obligation of,

True service, For my country, And all of sentient beings, in whatever forms, whichever levels of awareness, discovered and undiscovered abilities/capabilities, Especially,

I hope to remain in adequate alignment,
With what service,
Truly means,
To me,

Others may view service differently, Yet I wish to remain sufficiently in alignment with service that feels true and necessary, Instead of getting forced by however many others into a system of what they view as true that does NOT feel the same to me.., and even if we disagree, We can still compassionately thank others due to trying, Partially to spread peaceful energy,

Yes I know I’m repeating this, Yet I want to emphasize, That service, or what it means to serve can have many different meanings,

I wish as always, To reasonably and therefore freely, Try to serve as many as I can in ways that feel most truthful for me