Thanks a lot Will

Just because someone makes an offensive joke..,
Or whatever has been going on..,
Does not mean that you walk on stage comprised of people who are supposed to represent civilized behavior,
And promote violence by slapping someone,
..
With the millions of people watching,
Especially children,
Because..,
What example does it teach?
..
To use violence..?

Now I get wanting respect,
But I have respect for those who act like good examples,
And when those who I admired let me down,
Oh how it makes me feel DOWN..,

Even if Will Smith slapping Chris Rock was “staged”,
It looked too real,
And gave too much of a dangerous impression,
Especially since (I would guess) most people,
May have sides to them,
That want to be like Will Smith,
And..,
Due to the fact that most people take stuff out of context and act way more emotionally instead of thinking critically,
And because (most probably),
Our behavior in front of millions of people gives others (although it could be a false one) an impression of our group,
Hence,
As for those who think critically would understand..,
If we act uncivilized,
The majority of non-critically thinking people are dangerously more likely,
To make an assumption about our WHOLE group,
Due to one action,
..
Due to the fact that they get an emotional high on judging other groups as “bad” and think they’re among the “good guys”, etc, etc,
..
So if I was a famous actor,
And if I didn’t honor those who put in the WORK to sustain and represent civilized behavior,
I would dangerously increase the chances my group of “autists” would suffer,
Such as from greater judgment and discrimination from others,
Because I’d be another guy of a discriminated group who displays bad self-control,
And therefore I’d be less likely to get hired,
Leading to one problem, then another and another..,

And due to the dominant systems of unconscious judgment,
I will continually suffer..,

So clearly,
Even though I’ve hated my life for a long time now, Violence may just make my situation(s) brutally worse..,

And just to mention..,
As for other reasons that may have justified Will’s anger (NOT his behavior)..,
Compared to other REAL world issues that affect more people,
Evidently do NOT seem equally to matter..,

Yet..,
Thanks to him,
This is just another unfortunate event,
That just makes me more upset,
And makes me more hopeless,
And more tempted,
To conveniently block out my increased inner painful feelings,
Since healthy,
productive,
constructive ways of doing that are taking too long..,
So largely because I’m struggling with patience on being rewarded by feeling good through doing what’s best for me (such as meditating),
I’m more susceptible to conveniently,
Yet,
Overall harmful self-medicating..,
Once time catches up..

Yep..
Even though slapping someone is a pretty small form of violence,
It’s impact,
Especially how it’s making me feel right now,
Feels way worse than a slap..,

It was a “straw that broke my back”,
Well..
Maybe that’s hyperbole,
Yet..,
It just makes me so much more upset..,

Hence,
even though I largely don’t care about the lives of celebrities,
And haven’t been following more important issues,
Largely due to my personal issues..,
..
I just think it’s very unfortunate,
That Will Smith,
Who I once admired,
Let me down,
And acted like another fucking clown,
And like all those stuck in unconsciousness who I struggle so hard to not get harmfully affected by,

And I do remember the time he slapped that guy for kissing him,
Which I also did NOT approve of (yet understood why he’d want to do that)..,
Yet even though society may regard him in many ways as more successful than I’ll ever be,
With the huge NEED for peaceful energy,
What he did the other night and still received his award,
Just added to my misery..,
And I didn’t care for his apology..,
And I know he wasn’t crying about that..,
So instead of viewing him as a good admirable person,
I’ll probably more often,
View him as a fucking over-privileged asshat..,

And I know compassion isn’t easy,
Yet he just made it so much harder for me..,

As we all know there’s been others and incidents WAY worse in history..,
Yet I just don’t want to feel even more down,
Because it’s too much already..,

Maybe I’ll get less angry..

But I have to say..,
Thanks a lot Will,
…
Way to help give me,
And others,
Real hope in humanity..

Way to fucking go..
Jerk