Guess someone whose innately wrong like me,
Won’t last long most likely..?
..
I struggle to shrug off my back how others judge me painfully,
Too damn constantly,
When out in public I struggle to control myself when people cruelly look at me,
Like this one guy who sadistically glared at me,
Because I was too anxious to tell my dad to move out of the way so he could exist the pizza place,
Then while trying to quietly express my frustration,
A woman looked at me like I was crazy..,
Instead of providing peaceful empathy,
In a world in danger or hellacious instability..,
By the next unconscious shot fired..,
Even if it’s due to a wrong assumption,
In response to another’s unconscious projection..
Maybe that’s hyperbole?
But if we keep disregarding empathy,
It may just become a reality?
Because,
How can you kill someone who you know,
Who you emphasize with,
Who you understand and truly feel,
To be a part of,
From the same infinite source?
Of course..
We have the RIGHT to our own beliefs,
But I believe,
To receive the KINDNESS I give to others..,
Yet I try my best to expect how people will treat me..,
As they have and will continue to,
And I’ll struggle and just might feel a present need to write about it..
Such as I did in my very FIRST blog post in early June 2020..,
Which was another moment when I was struggling with how I felt people were judging me..,
Instead of cultivating compassionate energy,
So they’re less likely to provoke me,
So I’m less likely to LOSE control and escalate pain catastrophically,
Sometimes my unconsciousness,
Could cause the next straw of unconsciousness,
To unconsciously break me..?
Once again..,
I just needed to express that so it doesn’t unconsciously violently erupt out of me,
Even if you disagree and/or have advice for me,
Even if you want to challenge me,
Please empathize with me,
To remind me that I’m not alone,
Even though I’m a target of disrespect by others frequently,
Due to how I come across due to my learning disability and hypersensitivity,
Please remind me,
That I’m not alone and separate,
Just because I’m labeled as,
“Different”