Derailing Me

The fact that they did what they did to me,
The fact that their getting ahead in life,
The fact that they don’t see a need to apologize to me,
The fact that they had no consideration for how they were affecting me,

Is something I carry with me,
Is something that limits me,
From joining them,
In living life,

The fact that they damaged my life,
And that their out living life..,

I just can’t put into any words,
Or metaphors..,
How sad,
How infuriated that makes me..,

Oh..,

Compassion hasn’t felt easy,

I’m trying so hard to not drown in pity,
I’m trying so hard to take responsibility,

But how they treated me,
And how others continue to treat me,
Makes it so damn hard for me,
It makes so damn hard,
For to sleep,
Remain centered,
And do everything I must to sustain civilized sanity,

If they could just apologize,
Even if it is chill and low key,

I’m not asking for that much empathy,
I just want them do know,
That having autism,
Has been a struggle,
And really continues to be