Struggling to Avoid

(Re-posted a second time)

People tell me,
“You do it to yourself”,
When they didn’t experience,
Nor reacted to experience,
Nor developed,
the way I did,
And when,
I would NEVER,
Say that,
To them,

People feel I,
“Do it to myself”,
When I feel I been,
So kind,
So compassionate,
To themselves,

People tell me they’re,
“Keeping it real with me”,
When their honesty isn’t helping,
Yet feels to be,

People tell me they’re,
“Just joking”,
When what they say to me,
Feels to be,

People gad mad at me for breaching “confidentiality”,
Instead of realizing,
How what they were doing,
Felt wrong,
Felt damaging,
Yet they get mad at me for “snitching”,
Or however I’m informing,
They treat me like shit,
While expecting me to keep it a secret..,
And when I open up,
They want to fuck me up,

People tell me to,
“Just be yourself”,
Yet when I do,
I feel,
Even those who tell me that,
Can’t stand it when I try to do it,

I feel that,
When I try to tell others,
Ways in which I feel people hurt me,
It seems to trigger their insecurity,
Or whatever it may be,
And I feel they respond,

I struggle,
To find people,
Who I feel are good for me,
Yet it’s hard constantly,
Because I feel I fail to avoid those who don’t understand,
Those who can’t emphasize and are also feeling mad and sad,
Those who,
Regardless of whatever their intentions may actually be..,
Just happen to hurt me,

I just can NOT expect to change them,
I just can NOT expect them to treat me differently,
I just can NOT expect to successfully avoid them constantly,

The struggle continues,

And I feel it’s,

Hurting me,

Yeah I’d agree that “work is cure”,
Unless my coworkers,
And/or whoever,
Keep making stuff for me feel,
So much damagingly,
Harder for me,

Sometimes I feel I just can NOT often avoid,
Those who hurt me,
And I feel,
What I need to do,
To protect myself,
Remains a struggle,


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