Thought they’d be There

They yelled at me,
Used their non-autistic spirit against me,
Made me drink my ass off,
Take an ice bath,
Got action virtually in front of me,
And the women definitely didn’t prefer me,

They told me,
To keep it all a secret,
As if I could let it go,
Instantly,

When I seek empathy,
Many give me advice,
This, that and the other,
Then when I stand up for myself,
They make an excuse,
To avoid me,

They’ll gaslight,
And make me believe it’s mostly me whose not right,

They now got positions of authority,
They’re now off with their careers,
And just left me,

Yeah,
They’ve somewhat been there for me,
But now I kinda feel,
This “brotherhood”,
Just wasn’t real,

..,

I’ll try to reconnect,
And they’ll order and lecture me,
..,
And I thought they would be there for me,
After all that isolation,
After all that rejection,
I thought they would be there for me,

They told me I’m a “brother for life”,
And now,
Many (if not all) practically cut me out of their life,

I tried so hard,
To follow their world views,
To go with the flow,
To chill and let go,

And now I know,
I just,
May never know who to trust

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