Only circle of friends NOW excluding me

They have time to spend with each other,
Yet when I ask to be included,
Many may say,
“Oh I’d love to but I’m just too busy man”,

And some may say,
“Yeah well you make people not want to be around you”,
“It’s a liability”..,
Or they’ll respond in whatever ways that may happen to make it more damagingly painful for me..,

It’s hard,
Feeling my one and only circle of friends,
Now like the others,
Just wants to exclude me,

Instead of acknowledging my conditions,
Instead of acknowledging that I was chill a majority of the time,
Instead of being the brothers they said they were going to be,

They now,
Like so many others,
Wish to exclude me,

And I am trying so hard,
To not let these painful rejections emotionally derail me,

This makes it additionally hard,
For me,
To keep,
My sanity,

It feels so hard for me,
Feeling alone and excluded,
In my world views,
Labels and/or conditions,


I just wish for better experiences,
I just wish for more peaceful inner sensations,
I just wish for more strength,
And more reasonable struggles if I had to choose between types of struggles,

Not saying others have it “easy”,
I just wish,
To feel,
More fulfilled in whatever reality

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