The Difference I See

So I apologize if I’m preaching too much,
Yet,
I feel a need to share,
Something I wish others would hear,
And that is,
I presently feel:

The difference,
I see,
Between “God”,
And a “Deity”,

And well,
If I have no one on my side,
I’ll turn to God to protect me,
And I’ll (hopefully) feel peacefully protected from some egotistic deity,
That wishes to brutally punish me,
For not submitting to their ego,
Precisely,

Dare I say..,
I believe,
A deity,
Even if it happened to create me(?),
Is just another manifestation out of interconnected God/life energy,
The same as how I manifest..,

And even though a deity may have “created” my present manifestation,
Well,
The deity itself may just have manifested,
Out of life energy,
Which is who and what I consider God,
Presently,

?

Yet did a life energy manifestation create me in their image?
I just..,
Do NOT presently know?
Yet regardless..,
I still wish for more inner and external,
Peacefulness..,

And well,
If the path I’m “supposed to follow”,
Does NOT end up helping me,
The way it initially claimed it would “help me”,

Well..,

I’ll (hopefully) turn to the good energy within me,
To learn lessons of life and death,
That my culture,
Authority figures,
Coaches,
Preachers,
PEERS,
Among any other types of social/developmental influences,
Role-models and teachers,
FAILED,
To teach me,

Yes,
I intend to use these terms,
BROADLY,

I’ll turn to God,
And therefore,
NOT any number,
Of,
Evil deities,

I’ll turn to a force of energy,
That’s always there,
To heal me,

I’ll turn to a force of energy,
That’s always there for me,
That awakens and rehabilitates me,
Instead of one that seeks to “justify” more pain and torture of me,

I’ll turn to God,
Even if and when ever being oppressed by a deity..,
And any other sentient beings,
Authority,
Or whatever the dark,
damaging,
painful forces there may just be?

And (as for this context) even if I’m not following the rules of terms,
Definitions and language,
?

Well,
May we have the freedom to change language for the better,
May we develop language to further REDUCE ways in which we damagingly,
Pointlessly suffer,

And if other egos say I’m “misusing” words,
Language,
Or whatever they say and do to me due to whatever..,
Well,
If I remember,
I’ll turn to the deeper life force,
Which I believe we all manifest as a part of,

If I remember,
I’ll turn to the energy,
That is there to help me,

If I remember,
I’ll turn to the energy that’s there for me,
That’ll help me spot it,
That’ll help me detect it,
That’ll help me do what I must to PREVENT what is toxic,
From becoming more toxic,

If I remember,
I’ll do what I remember I discovered,
Which is how to,
Properly,
Safely,
Heal the deepest causes of the bad toxic energy that may become additionally exacerbated within me largely due to how I react to whichever external entities..(?),

I must respond consciously,
So I don’t exacerbate my inner pain that largely results from how others may dominate me(?),
I must practice responding properly,
To stay safe,
To become stronger,
To manifest in this present life form,
Longer,

So yes,
Heaven and/or Hell,
Wherever I am emotionally,
Figuratively,
Or LITERALLY,
I must be aware internally,
So I do NOT add additional pain within me,

I feel,
I must resist less,
I must accept more,
In order,
To become more at peace,
With whatever brutal orders,
Or..,
Possibly torture(!?),
That they force me to horrifically endure,

Not to get political,
Yet more as a hypothetical..,
Yet to be REAL..,
If any crusaders,
JIHADISTS,
Blood-thirsty collectively exclusive ZIONISTS,
TELEVANGELISTS,
Corporate conquistadors,
Gangsters,
Soldiers who do NOT question their orders,

They may try to dismiss my freedom of speech by calling me a “racist”,
By calling me “anti-semetic”,
“Islamaphobic”,
“Anti-American”,
Ohh and they may say,
That he’s “POSSESSED”..,
?

Ohh they just may..(?),
Especially if I dare challenge their way,
If I hold them accountable for what they do and say..,
As for torturing me,
Ohh they just may..,

DARE I SAY,

??

And of course some may just be like,
“He has too much time on his hands”,
Yet aside from my struggles with work,
Including those I work FOR and WITH,
Well..,
Posts like these,
I feel to be WORK that’s ALSO,
Worth developing,

Or whoever it may be who wishes to harm me due to not complying with the TRUTH they see..,
Of their deity,
Or whatever they see that works for them yet does NOT sufficiently speak TRUE to me..,

Huhh..,
If THEY..,
Want to come torture me,
Due to me being me,
Well,
I’ll turn to God,
I’ll turn to the energy that I manifest from,
I’ll turn to my freedom within,
Instead of joining in,
With a toxic system that claims to be the “truth”,

If they want to torture me,
For not sticking to THEIR “truth”,
Well,
I’ll stick to my truth,
Of finding peace within,
Whether I’m ever in a brutal prison,
“Mental health” institution,
The wilderness..,
..,
Wherever I’m at,
I’ll try to develop,
At least some,
Inner peacefulness,

And well..,
I’ll try not to have my system of personal beliefs become corrupt,
I’ll try,
To,
Stay true to my truth,
And allow others to follow their own way,
Yet,
If and only if,
Any of them want to harm me for how I presently innocently see my true beliefs,
Well,
Then I’ll try to..,
As always,
Turn to the inner peaceful warrior in me,

I’ll try to keep a healing,
Empowering awoken spirit within me,
Regardless of however entities in my surroundings may be controlling me(?),
Regardless of what just happens,
To be happening to me..(?),
I’ll try to turn,
To developing,
Peace,
In me,

I can,
And feel I must,
Turn to the deeper essence,
That’ll help alleviate whichever pain I need alleviated,
In any,
Presence,

And of course,
I hope to sustain,
Peaceful persistence,
Of course,
In addition to increasing the peace I therefore, Experience,

I just need to turn to God,
I just need to turn to that inner healing energy,
Especially,
If they want to horrifically torture and however oppress me,
Due to the difference(s),
I see,

Wherever and whatever that may be happening to me that I can NOT presently avoid,
Externally,
I’ll still try,
To find,
At least some peace,
In me,

I’ll try to turn,
To an inner,
Deeper,
Life force,
That is always,
There for me,

That has always been,
That always remains,
A part,
Of me