At least Trying

Even if everyone disagrees,
I still feel,
I must remain strong,
In the truth I see,
As presently most compatible for me,

Too often,
I feel I’m FAR nicer to most others than they are to me,
And when I try to be honest with how I feel they are towards me,
Their confidence will gaslight,
Intimidate and overpower me,
Causing me to cower back into my shell of reclusively filming juggling videos instantly,
Or whatever hobby,
Feelings and ways of experiencing,
That cuts me off socially,
And makes my life feel LESS worth experiencing,
As a result of being shut-down,
As a result of receiving so much unbearable negativity from others that crushes me internally,
As a result of trying to align myself in truthful honest expression which I initially felt to be a life more worth living,

I like writing and being honest in the politest and/or most civilized ways I can,
Yet other more powerful egos and networks of them,
Want me to remain in my apathetic socially isolated shell,

And well,
As for juggling,
Not that filming juggling videos is “wrong”,
It’s just,
For me,
I feel that including other paths just may be a better fit for me,

I feel (in addition to whatever other practices help me look and experience more gratifyingly deeply) writing helps me look more deeply and better align myself with the truth I see,
And although as a result..,
More and more others may feel “threatened” and turn on me,
I feel I’ll still feel more fulfilled if I at least try,
To align and/or expand my awareness,
With a perpetual present moment,
That I feel to be,
So much more truthfully worth experiencing for me,

And well,
Aside from my intention to do my best to peacefully and civilly address mistreatment from others UNfairly directed at me,
I feel I’m a nice person,
And well,
I’m just NOT going to keep taking it,
I feel I must AT SOME POINT such as RIGHT NOW live the truth that I see as most presently morally gratifying for me,
I’m not going to let those with direct power over me,
Among anybody,
Displace misery (that I did NOT cause) onto me,

And here is a quote that remains important to me:

“The unexamined life is not worth living”, (Socrates),
(Source: “Socrates Quotes.” Brainy Quote, (

And even if my life feels “not worth living”,
I will still keep going,
I’ll still keep living,
And I’ll always continue trying,
To NEVER stop trying,
At more deeply examining the present life I’m experiencing,
In order to expand my awareness in ways far more fulfillingly liberating,

And even if most (if not all) others hate me,
As a result of me trying to align myself with the truth I see,
I still would rather fail INSTEAD of never trying to experience the life that I feel most worth experiencing,

At least I can try,
And well,
I’m glad that I completed this other blog post of trying to examine the present physical sentient manifestation I’m presently in,
By putting into words to the best of my ability,
The truth I presently see,
In order to (and NOT to sound arrogant..) preserve (or pass on) what I view as I guess “realizations”,
That just may help me and/or whoever may prefer to read what I have written to at least attempt to feel they are living a life more worth experiencing,

Thanks for reading

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