If I caught on Earlier

Not to waste energy by “blaming others”,

Yet..,
I wish I caught on earlier,

I know I only must focus on this present moment in preparation for the future “present moment”,

However I’d like to share,
That I additionally feel that,
I need to expand my awareness more out of my head,
And I wish I NOT ONLY understood,
Yet felt and utilized what that truly meant,
Far deeper,
Far earlier,

And well,
Although how I view myself at the age I’m at is just NOT how I envisioned it,
NOR truly preferred it,
Yet,
I feel I must keep trying to utilize the ability I developed to the best of my present ability,
Even if I excessively failed to utilize so much that could’ve more truly contributed to develop the greater possibilities within me,

?

And even though,
If I caught on earlier,
If I knew how to prepare and/or handle those inevitable painful encounters..,
Well..,
I just may have developed even stronger,

?

Even though I’m “still young”,
There still could have been so,
So much more,
If I just caught on earlier,

And well,
All I feel I can do is just “focus on my future”,
Including this present moment to develop clearer and stronger,
So may what I’m writing here serve as at least somewhat of a helpful reminder,

At least I’m still here,
At least,
I’m here,

And even if there could have been more “there” way back then,
Well..,

At least as of now,
I feel to be at least somewhat more clear,
Than I was,
So often before