Looking to Blame

(The beginning part of this pertains to posting on Instagram..),

Similar to what I mentioned in my first screenshot post titled “Never Clear Enough”,
As I expected,
The amount of Instagram screenshot room and number of screenshots I’m allowed to use is seemingly NOT enough to clearly share as much as I usually feel a need to on this platform..,
And will I ever figure out how to make enough room and be “perfectly” straight to the point..?
I guess that no matter how clear and concise I am..,
There’s infinitely more to say in infinite new ways..(?),
And aside from that and as for other stuff in general,
Even if I have “valid” reasons to “blame others”,
I STILL feel that blaming others who I have zero control over most likely will NOT help me heal what remains to be holding me back,

For example,
Even if it’s mostly “their fault”,
Blaming those who I can NOT change,
And even “getting back at them”,
I’d guess(?) will most likely NOT help heal what and how they may have harmed me..,

I feel that:
Being caught in a victim mentality,
Will just add to more and more internally weighing toxic negativity,
That’ll more likely serve to increasingly debilitate me..,
I feel that being caught in an increasing victim mentality,
Will more likely fill me with more toxic negativity,
That limits my awareness capability,
Causing me to screw up more,
And giving several others more and more “reasons” to criticize me,
Which I feel will more likely increase more debilitating discouragement that grows within me,

And just to throw it out there,
May we sufficiently remember,
To NOT waste more energy trying to make others understand,
Who just will NEVER sufficiently understand,
NOR will ever be open to trying to understand,
No matter how kind and clearly,
We actually make ourselves to be,

And blaming ourselves,
I feel,
Will ALSO fill us with more toxic limiting energy,
That will also NOT help us access more inner peacefulness to more deeply,
fulfilling expand our inner capabilities as for whatever that may just be and manifest as externally..(?),

I feel that even though we’re accountable,
We’re (of course..) NOT perfect YET (of course..) we can STILL focus on what’ll actually make stuff feel better,
And even if and/or whenever I repeat stuff,
And as for whatever is “obvious”,
I feel that (from ourselves and/or whoever) many of us may need sufficient reminders since I feel that many of us (such as myself) can still forget a lot of this..(?),

Hence forgetting to practice NOT remaining caught up in blaming may MORE likely hold me back,
And EVEN (more likely) prevent me from staying as civilized and centered in more moments to come when other more powerful forces actually do threaten my inalienable rights (for example),

It’s just..,
Regardless of whatever happened to me,
Regardless of whatever powerful forces affected me in ways that either damaged and/or offered nothing helpful for me,
Regardless of how my choice/decision making awareness was affected for however better or worse..,

Of course,
I feel I can always ask,
What can I really do to help make this present moment experience feel more worth experiencing?
For myself,
In addition to whoever else,

And regardless,
I’m glad I’m still going,

And as for those inner painful forces I just may continue encountering,
I guess..(?),
The more I resist them,
Such as trying to suppress them by pushing them down into a small inner space,
The more likely they’ll build then explode out of me,

And IF I can NEVER “completely” NOR “permanently” push them out of me,
Nor stop,
Nor at all reduce their powerful current,
I guess..(?),
The more I accept those inner painful forces,
The more tolerance I’ll INSTEAD have for them,
Since increased acceptance may (in this case) imply increased tolerance..(?),

And although (for example) if our rights are being deeply threatened in some way,
Of course (I feel that) we’re allowed to RESIST,
As for what we may be experiencing internally,
Well (I feel that),
The MORE we may “resist”,
The LESS our tolerance may be since we may feel a significant need to “resist”..(?),

I’d guess that as for what we can NOT change..(?),
The MORE we resist,
The MORE we suffer,
And therefore,
The MORE we accept (or the LESS we resist),
The LESS we suffer,
And may practice have it feel easier and easier,
(Source: Tolle, Eckhart. The Power of Now. Namaste Publishing, New World Library, 1997, p. 33. (https://www.calvin.edu/library/knightcite/index.php)),

And since (I’d guess that..?) the more we fight energy currents that pass through us,
The more we lose energy in response to what we have zero control over,

So I guess(?) the more consistently we gently notice our breath among increasingly accepting energy that passes through us,
(Such as anger at ourselves and/or others),
Or I guess the MORE we notice and (therefore) the LESS we add inner tension NOR deplete strong peaceful energy by internally resisting what we cannot change..(?),
And/or the MORE we reduce thinking negatively about what we cannot change,
(That (I’d guess..?) just would otherwise increase and/or blind us into more negativity..),
Or I guess..(?),
The MORE we can peacefully notice and NOT resist what inevitably internally passes through us,
Then (I’d guess..?) the MORE likely at peace we’ll be internally,


And even though I ALSO might “suck at this”,
I still hope it felt at least somewhat helpful when reading this,

As always,
Thanks for reading this

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