Truly Listening

Mom I want to additionally thank you for listening,
While (I often feel to perceive that) so many OTHERS seem to feel I “need” more of the “same” type of hardass criticism,

INSTEAD of constantly yelling at me,
You (among a certain few) help me hear and understand what I need to more clearly hear,
INSTEAD of threatening me if I do NOT “obey” what is “suggested” for me,
You INSTEAD help me feel comfortable and heard,
You help me learn from my feelings,
INSTEAD of shaming me for inevitably having them,

While so many OTHER insecure (less anxious) egos may want to hear themselves criticize me until they “had enough” of me,
You truly listen to me,

And (although) what may have a similar effect on most..(?),
May affect me differently..(?),
So I want to sincerely thank you mom,
knowing how to COURAGEOUSLY advocate for me,
In ADDITION to meeting my needs financially,
Among all others I see you to also be there for emotionally,
Who so many others just may feel a “need” to forget about,

Thank you for always and continuing to welcome me in,
While several others at some point just want me permanently out,

And even though I must say it’s “NOT just about me”,
Even though many may NOT understand nearly as patiently compassionately,

Including that nasty moment of eye contact I additionally received from an additional seemingly mainstream old hardass stranger (recently),
In addition to way WORSE painful social encounters I have had (largely) because of my condition(s),

Thank you for having my back,
When another social encounter I interpret as disrespect may by the “straw” that “breaks my back”..,

And even if I want to blame myself,
In addition to my condition(s),
In addition to various moments of social rejection after trying to please those who were always out to socially connect through hilariously busting my balls until they no longer wanted anything to do with me,
I want to thank you,
For having and continuing to have powerful peaceful empathy,

And when I felt a need to communicate my best,
When I feel I needed to and need to get something additionally off my chest,
INSTEAD of continuing to challenge me,
INSTEAD of making me feel more misunderstood and INSTEAD of making me feel more emotionally isolated,

Thank you,
For at least helping me feel less alone within myself,
By just,

And although (I’ll say it again) you’re (understandably) NOT on Instagram,
Thank you mom,
For all you continue to do,
To help me learn,
Regardless of how much EXCESSIVE money several others’ may expect me to earn,

And even though if I may appear to several others as a “hypocrite”,
Who says a lot yet excessively fails to catch himself in the act,

Thank you mom,
For truly,
Helping me learn,

Thank you for peacefully clearly communicating yourself,
So I can (more likely) more clearly understand and remember,
What just may likely help me develop the emotional inner peaceful self-control to survive longer,

Thank you for supporting me in what I try to offer,
For myself,
In addition to whoever,
Such as this additional post right here

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