Out of the Shell

Since a part of me feels THAT I have been treated so often like shit,
I am inclined to hold others accountable,
EVEN if they’re innocent (and I just don’t realize it),

I’ll have the spirit,
Take any more bullshit,

I’m referring to my superiors,
And I must say,
I do NOT take bullshit,

I believe in freedom,
Believe in,


And ZERO inanimate objects can capture that spirit,

I just am done,
With the bullshit,

I believe in living free,
I feel I must get out of my anxious shell and ADVOCATE,

I’d rather fail at fighting for my rights,
Than to please those who do NOT care about me,

Those above me,
Those who are the bosses and supervisors of me..,
They are just the ENEMY,

These supervisors think they can just step on me and they think I’ll do nothing about it,
I can also choose,

Stay True

When attempting to let lose,
I struggle to NOT obsessively compulsively explain myself to remind those reading that what I say,
Is NOT meant to be taken literally,
Especially since I’m attempting to talk FIGURATIVELY,

Just another reminder,
For whoever,
May ever,
Might take what I’m trying to say FIGURATIVELY,
And get offended,

Stay true

I guess…(?)…

What ALSO Matters

Hey man..,
I just want to say,
After all of my craziness,
In addition to what you also go through,
I just wanted to deeply thank you,
For still being there for me,
Such as reminding me,
Of the importance of NOT letting the memories of what those other fucks did to me,
Prevent me,
From moving on with the life I see most fit for me,

In times I needed it the most,
You’d respond to me,
In ways that helped me,
Which I feel is,
Something that most others..,
Weren’t able to do properly,

They couldn’t even send one fucking message to me..,
Even some who said they were “brothers for life”..,
They just flew the fuck outta my life..,
Fuck em,
I don’t need em,

And I feel that sadly,
Too many just made shit worse for me..,
Such as that Romanian drunken composer,
Unhinged karate kid who choke slammed the funny kid,
And let’s not forget that Alhaddin looking narcissistic actor..,
Dumza hum laden..,
Ohh have I forgotten..,

I will NOT forget,
Stuff like that and WORSE,
In order,
To move ahead,
And stay the fuck outta my head 👍👍

Yet UNlike ALL those others,
In moments when I needed to be just heard,
You’d listen,
With ZERO insults NOR sadistic criticism,

Knowing what and all I needed in those moments of need,
Has most certainly,
Helped prevent me,
From spirling dangerously,

Fuck those who didn’t even bother to message me,
Of course “who am I to judge”..,
But most importantly,
Those shitheads who wronged me,
Remain in the distant past,
That I’m forgetting increasingly,


Even though I would guess(?),
That it’s more powerful to say less,
I just have so much to say,
That words,
I feel,
Just can never be pieced together in a satisfying enough way,
To express how grateful and reassured I feel,
That I still get to hear from ya to this day,
Among others who are still good to me when I’m just acting not okay,

You do NOT egotistically use my excessive manic emotional reactive vulnerability against me,
You know how to handle me,
And well,
I therefore feel I also MUST say,
I deeply feel,
And to keep it REAL,
Your life as a police officer,

And those,
Are some of the many reasons why,
I felt a need to try to,

Thank you

Launching Position

Similar to what I said in my post titled “Letting it Settle”,
If I kindly confront those who attack me..,
Like saying,
“Please don’t talk to me disrespectfully”,
I feel that they WILL have a NASTY COMEBACK,

Being a nice guy just does NOT seem to be helping me,
And I ALSO feel that it is IMMORAL to step on others while climbing up any hierarchical ladder (or I guess Pyramid..(?)),

Since those days of me being a pushover are over,
Since too many people above me have NOT fairly given back the respect I have given them,
I just might have to report this certain warehouse manager,
To HR,

Instead of how I was in my past,
It is TIME I try to become STRONGER,
And NOT take shit any longer..,

Regardless of whatever happens,
I just feel that I WILL feel more free,
If I do NOT just let others step on me,
Why shut down to some scumbag authority!?


Of course,
To make it more clear why I get “overly offended” by little shit,
It’s because I struggle to let go of so many memories of people being just straight up nasty to me,
So that’s WHY I may sometimes get VERY offended by even the smallest forms of what I interpret as meanness..,

And well,
It does frustrate me,
That EVEN others who may DEEPLY understand this,
Will still be mean to me,
Will still act carelessly impatiently..,
Will use me to blast their misery..,
That I did NOT cause OBVIOUSLY!!

I’m just,
Done taking bullshit..,

And oh man..,
If I go to HR..,
I’m just going to have so much more to write about..,
I’ll just have to be ready,
For WAR,

Yeah peace I believe in ideally,
And I ALSO fail constantly,
So if need be,
I tried to write my complaints succinctly,
So I have a missal stored in my GOOGLE DOCUMENTS,
Ready in launching position,
And will fire the letter to HR,
To fire at that store manager if he keeps taking out his anger on me..,

Staying peaceful hasn’t stayed easy

That’s Okay

I feel that:

Sometimes people are able to live in the present,
And feel zero need to put it into words,
And that’s okay,

I find trying to put the truth I feel I see into words,
And that’s okay,

Maybe sometimes people know the way,
And have nothing to say,
And that’s okay,

Sometimes people can just “live it”,
And feel no need to word it,
Which is okay,

Yet for me,
Words have helped me..,

I just may,
Do it differently,

And I feel,

That’s okay,

Either way,
It’s all good,
I must say

Peace Inside

No matter how bad or frequently someone eradicates the vibe,
I can still have peace inside,

No matter how bad someone kills the vibe,
I can still remain at peace inside,

No matter how rough of a ride,
I can still find balance inside,

No matter how immensely I’m drowning,
I still feel it’s possible,
If I really believe,
If I really try,
At least somewhat,

So I want to once again emphasize,
No matter how bad someone kills the vibe,
I can still have peace,

Instead of getting caught up in,
I can notice the inner sensations,
And therefore resist less,
And accept more of what I can not change,
I would guess..,

And yep,
I struggle with this,
Have frequently failed at this,
And therefore must keep trying to..,

Choose Wisely

Because I have learning and anxiety struggles,
I screw up a lot,
So if you’re looking for another to yell at,
I’m your guy,

I’ll come unprepared,
I’ll send up the wrong stuff,
I’ll create a jam that fucks up the whole process,
So if you’re feeling deeply miserable and angry,
You’ll have a perfect opportunity to verbally abuse me,
And maybe ask yourself subsequently,
“Do I now feel happy?”

Yet the price you may pay,
Is that,
The same part of me,
That feels the same deep hopeless pain and misery,
May try to get back at you,


So I feel I also must remind you,