Embarrassment

I’m reluctantly obsessively posting for quantity,
I’m well aware,
The more I aim for quality,
The BETTER QUALITY,
my creative written expression is!!

Unfortunately,
I’m stuck in OCD,
I’ll regret the posting in obsessive excess eventually,
Still,
Thanks for baring with me,

I don’t believe in it,
Yet,
I’m succumbing to the opposite,

I just can’t tolerate it,

I feel like I felt when others,
Who were trying to help me feel more comfortable,
Out of my comfort zone,
Ended up viewing me as an,
Embarrassment,

I will try to hold off on posting again,
Starting now,
Since I must regain my handle on it,

I’ll have trouble paying attention,
I’ll get very offended with literal or what I assume to be other’s frustration,
And that’ll just lead to more harmful confusion,
Whether it’s just for myself and/or everyone..

I know,
Such as with my posting,
My decisions not only impact me,
But everyone who decides to read my posts for any amount with whatever present awareness degree,

I continue to put online,
A type of energy,
Which comes from what I’m experiencing when crafting a post presently,

Obviously,
I’ll consider if I feel a need to delete posts,

?

I have other recent first drafts of writing that are STILL underway,
Which I’m greatly EXCITED to post,

I just need to,
ONCE AGAIN,
Slow down,
And consider,
How I post,

So people don’t get annoyed with me, act mean to me directly and eventually ghost me.. (for example),
Since,
I know I also can make a decision,
To make it more likely,
That others will appreciate me,

Although I would assume many of us know,
That when it comes down to it,
Speaking for myself as you know..
I have zero control over,
What other individuals can decide to have more control over,
Such as how and why they respond to me to whatever extent they do or don’t ongoingly,

For those of you who have responded to my posts helpfully,
Thanks again for supporting me

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