I’m now having OCD to write about every common phrase or exclamation in my posts of creativity that occur in the exact part of each new stanza repeatedly, exactly, consecutively..
As I said, implied (or both) in my last post,
These requirements take my attention too much OUT of the creative moment,
I’m still repeating that my bad experiences due to harder learning, social and emotional challenges.. or however I’m psychologically challenged harder, have given me brutal insecurity which manifests in “OCD”,
in this case, trying to say the exclamation “Really!” at the end of each stanza and acknowledging how I’m also building up to do it right now,
like with “ya know” in my last post..
And instead of saying “killing two” or many “birds with one stone”,
I was obsessively reluctantly trying to be what my OCD says as PC to “pick another term” such as “scoring many goals with one ball”..
which then may cause my OCD to say, “well, the word ‘goal’ implies pressure”, Then I’ll get more pressure to find another metaphor,
Therefore feeding then getting more OCD so I’ll choose to say, “heal many people with one source”, since “source” is not “medication”, which may imply psychiatric prescription, which in my belief is needed primarily for emergency but can be used and prescribed (if not recreationally (or both)) harmfully excessively,
And due to OCD,
The word “source” is more “PC” than even “practice” because I worry about people assuming stuff like “he’s trying to convert us” so as you can see,
OCD comes out of my excessive fear-based mentality,
Which may arise and go in infinite directions,
Giving me infinite pain which you may see regardless of how much I indicate and explain..
OCD does cause my unsatisfied ego attention to focus on something that “will make me feel ‘good’” which it “must do before facing fears” of “growing up” in this case (more specifically, supporting myself by what I consider as being adequately “economically ‘self-sustaining’”),
OCD always wants more and will always be a force to obsessively make me run away from my fears instead of assisting me when facing them..
Although with all there is out there,
That I must beware,
The worse I’ll feel,
The more I feed obsessive compulsive behavior against my belief of being an integral, societal,
Living sufficiently in alignment with their integrity,
The stanza above the one that’s above this one,
Due to OCD,
And because of me waiting for the right moment to end it with “Really!”,
And same as in my last post,
That last stanza was meant to obsessively use the ending “really” again, same as this one, and same as this poem is another post adding to my obsessive goal to take a picture of having well over one-hundred posts,
That obsessive compulsive goal remains too much and too unnecessary for me to try to explain,
I may delete many posts I’m not proud of,
Posts that I feel were posted for quantity too much more than creativity,
I could do another poem like this starting every stanza with “and yes”..
But I probably won’t try to obsessively prove that,
Because I also really want to honor NOT feeding obsessive compulsive posts,
However, instead honor my free right to post,
By making the most of each post as I said in “Still Accountable”,
Although these posts have an obsessive compulsive number goal..
I do feel I somewhat proved that right there..
And it is part of my accountability and/or moral responsibility and/or integrity according to me,
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to end these stanzas with “Seriously!”,
but I guess it wouldn’t make much difference,
Even if my mentality is driven excessively obsessively,
I can still find someway,
To still accept the present that I don’t prefer,
Finding the best in the worst inevitable moments is always the best I can do,
According to me,
I can go on and on with this same exclamation pattern,
But I believe I said enough,
If not more than enough,
I also may include it at the end of a stanza here and there as I’ve done in poems after the first consistent question, exclamation, or whatever I deliberately repeated in the exact part of the stanza.. And I feel I should once again try not to explain anything new I notice that may also be implied,