Regrets

They get mad at me TOO much,
They scare me into apologizing TOO much,
My awareness is painfully in touch,

They may understand but regardless can’t stand my learning and emotional challenges,
They reprimand me,
Yet I’M THE ONE APOLOGIZING FOR MY ANXIETY,
I’M THE ONE APOLOGIZING FOR THEIR DISCOMFORT BECAUSE OF MY LEARNING, SOCIAL AND EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTY!!

THIS SEEMS WRONG TO ME!!
IT SEEMS BACKWARDS AS CAN BE!!
WOW!!
I MUST BE KINDER TO MYSELF!!
SERIOUSLY!!!
FUCK THOSE WHO WERE MEAN TO ME!!!
THEY SHOULD’VE BEEN THE ONES APOLOGIZING TO ME!!!

Every apology to them I made,
Out of fear of those who were cruel to me,
NOT LIKING ME,
I TAKE IT BACK!!!

AS I SAID BEFORE,
MY DAYS OF BEING A PUSHOVER ARE OVER!!

Yes,
It is WAY “easier said than done”,
However,
As for trying to fit in with those who can’t tolerate myself,
Those days, moments,
Are,
DONE!!

I’ll join a new environment and I already don’t fit in,

Why the fuck am I the one apologizing!!?
Why the fuck should I EVER be the one apologizing!!?

For all the cruelness I get,
Apologizing to others for it,
Is one of,
If not my BIGGEST regret,

I have so many regrets..
And I’ll continue to struggle and regret..

And well,
I’m still sticking with it,

Sorry if you were offended by my language,
I just can’t stand others who I fail to avoid being around,
Being brutal towards me

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