Big Hypersensitive Deal

I easily become hyper-jealous of those who I assume to be adequately less sensitive, or NOT hypersensitive similar to me, an example being that I struggle not getting too envious of those who don’t overthink (like my hypersensitivity easily causes me to do) and instead can more clearly think as needed,

My hypersensitivity gives me painful emotional reactivity when others don’t intend to harm me,

My hypersensitivity in combination with various learning challenges which others consider “disabilities” adds to already hypersensitive emotions I have like hyper-anxiety and hyper-LOW confidence,
Which has ALSO become MORE hypersensitive due to others sensing it to drown out their own insecurity,
is a way my hypersensitivity is hyper-brutally used against me,

Of course fear of side-effects of harmful substances to reduce if not momentarily block out, or block out as long as can be gives me more fear of side-effects overall making my problems worse since time catches up, giving me BRUTAL hypersensitivity regarding what the medication to become less “hypersensitive” is doing to me that’s forced on me and/or an addiction I have from the drug hierarchy..

My hypersensitivity impinges my creativity since I feel so insecure about number of posts,
Since my hypersensitivity made me insecure about being a loser and since my culture values numbers,
Since my culture looks for quantity as a measure of “success”..
Which makes my creative QUALITY,
A HYPERSENSITIVE mess..

My hypersensitivity makes what is not a big deal a big deal to me,
And that fact that this prevents me,
The fact that hypersensitivity inhibits me,
Is a,

BIG DEAL,

Not just a big deal to my hypersensitivity,
But to the part of me that wants to get the most meaningful meaningfulness that I can experience,

My hypersensitivity is a big deal to the part of me that wants to relax and let go,

My hypersensitivity is a big deal since it causes me to OBSESSIVELY repeat out of hyper-fears of NOT emphasizing something I feel a hyper-need to emphasize,
Even though it may be obviously implied if not obviously excessively explicitly repeated by me or both..

So much hypersensitivity…

I’m hyper-upset that my hypersensitivity is still with me,
And I hyperly fear its energy destroying me,
Yet..
Although I don’t believe in excessive and/or painful pressure to achieve or arrive anywhere
Giving up I still consider a reasonable regret,

My hypersensitivity may make others uncomfortable if not hypersensitive around me unless they know how to respond healthily consistently diligently,

My hypersensitivity distracts and confuses me,
It blinds me from relaxing,
With clouds of over-analyzing,
Instead of helping me realize and remember,
What I could more truly be appreciating,

Such as that my hypersensitivity,
I feel is CERTAINLY,
Not even close,
To the clearest,
Deepest,
True infinite essence of me

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