Struggling to Describe

So the bad energy doesn’t take out the deepest needed parts of my heart,
I automatically inwardly contract (or tighten?),
In response to other’s impatient emotional attacks (such as the chest and/or abdomen),

The more flak,
The harder it is to not inwardly contract,
The harder it is to not endanger myself by the way I emotionally react,

Others will blow up,
Then to protect myself,
I’ll inwardly close up,

But instead of going through life closed and
contracted,
I must find a way,
To stay clear,
Strong,
Because I know staying contracted is not open,
It’s not my capability,
Of staying strong in my inner positive spirit,
Consistently increasingly,

..

A lot of others don’t seem to take a look at how their mind navigates their awareness,
Sorry if you feel this to be my arrogance,
Yet..
Many might not understand this,
?

They’ll say,
“How can you look at the mind!!?”
“It’s inside you”,
Because they cannot see how they’re viewing it literally,
Since they’re unaware internally,

Emotional awareness, detaching, noticing, breaking down and understanding,
To them,
Seems “other-worldly” unfortunately,

Of course,
This is how my ego compares states of less ego to others who it assumes don’t nearly as often experience,

Still,
I feel,
It’s crucial,
To detach from limiting perceptions,
So they don’t cloud our perceptions,
So they don’t give us hateful wrong assumptions,
So they don’t further endanger us towards tragic interactions,
Due to blindly not controlling intense emotional reactions,
Regardless of the truth in our perceptions,

I guess,
It’s practical,
To cultivate,
Detaching from unconscious reactions,
So we can see clearly,
And proceed with caution,
When responding to urgent,
Or any type of challenging occurrences,

During less ego filled awareness states,
I must use them to join other egoless states to help cleanse the present world state,

Instead of my ego turning my less egotistic states into arrogance and disdain towards others my ego assumes to experience less of this,

Of course this takes consistence,

Inhale, exhale,
But my ego can in whatever new and unexpected ways,
Blind me,
Even when I assume I’m “egoless”,
I can still be unaware of my ego infested unconsciousness..

All the painful negativity,
Insecurity and expectation,
I must detach and notice the energy without being part of it,

I must witness,
Notice,
Instead of just allowing myself to unquestionably react to what I’m able to internally detach, break down and cleanse,

Clearly these are opinions,
And since this is a type of experience,
I still doubt my ability to put it into words will help any who hasn’t experienced this,
Understand this,

Even if they have experienced what I’m trying to say,
And still can’t understand what I’m trying to say,
Well..
I can’t ever precisely describe what I’m feeling anyway,
Since I believe that describing experience,
Is infinite,
in infinite ways,
Or forms,
Of describing

One thought on “Struggling to Describe

  1. Another powerful and thought provoking piece, your words always get me thinking and bear witness to the rich journey you are and have traveled Zach. Looking forward to reading more.

    Like

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