Similar Vision

I guess the same levels of unhealed trauma affects people differently..?
Some may respond and cleanse it more than others..?

While in others it unconsciously remains the same,
Or unconsciously builds in them uncontrollably,
And then their pain and insecurity emanates outward onto others,
Increasing pain and insecurity in others,
..
Instead of doing their part in healing the traumatized dominant forces of energy,
That underlie the system(s) in which we’re inevitably a part of,

So it’s hard,
For me and my emotional hypersensitivity,
To not become affected by other’s pain and insecurity,

It’s hard for me,
To not obsessively compulsively irrationally try to validate myself,
In response to others pain and insecurity making me so damn insecure and feeling bad about myself,

It’s hard not giving others power,
When my labels tell me I have to “work harder”,
That I atypically struggle more,
Such as having emotional hypersensitivity make me feel I’m very susceptible to brutal insecurity as a result of more “typical” others unconsciously emanating their painful insecurity onto me..,

It’s painful when others who I assume don’t have to struggle with my “atypical” label are mean to me,
And I know I must not give them power,
Yet my damaged confidence hardly ever finds this easy,

It’s hard,
To sufficiently accept that it feels this challenging for me,

It’s hard,
having beliefs different from most others,
Feeling a NEED for more kindness and compassion,
While others would just tell me to “stop being a pussy”,

Instead of offering me inner development guidance,
Many just inflict criticism,
Which just endangers me of confusion,
And if it keeps occurring,
It endangers me,
Of hitting an emotional breaking point then becoming and remaining in worsening vulnerable delusion, And/or becoming stuck on harmful dosages of medication.., Unfortunately I don’t feel this to be misinformation, Yet an example of what I must remember to avoid since it may be a very possible tragic situation,

In addition to those I trust and those who are helpful towards me, I still wish to be surrounded by plenty more others who I can TRUST,
Who share a similar HELPFUL vision,

Yes I know they’re out there, Yet with all my damaged confidence, high anxiety and insecurity, I struggle with sufficiently consistently working towards this, And I struggle with feeling I’ll have much to offer due to all that’s inwardly holding my awareness back and causing me to suffer.. Still, I’ll keep going and internally clear myself more and more so my “will power”, Inner strength or whatever is less contaminated, less weighed down, and of course prepared for more

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s