Scattered Heart

Is the past occurring now?
Or am I thinking of it?
Is the future occurring now?
Or am I thinking of it?

What always occurs now?

What do we need to focus on to appreciate the most,
To get the most out of life,
during the time we experience it..
The present?

WOW,

Isn’t it profoundly evident!???

Yeah I’m feeling that anger again,
I revisited some inner bullshit again,
Vengeance is in me,
Unemployment is distancing me,
Literally and more literally,

I’ve been in “fight and flight” so much,
There’s been moments when,
My thinking,
Was shrinking,
Into black and white,
With no shades of any color,

I miss then,
I her,
..,
I been writing about pieces of my autistic life’s bullshit,
And the stress and pressure to please,
While staying safe,
Has,
As a more compassionate part of me predicted,
That I’d lose sleep,

And regress,
As those non-autistics,
Who my victim ego mentality still feels that pain they passed on to me,
Progress

Inhale,
Exhale,

I try to,
Notice,
Witness,
The untangling,
And gradual peaceful connecting,
Of my,
Scattered heart

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