AGE 27

I may have better experiences ahead of me,
Yet in my present belief,
There’s always,
Just,
That,
Uncertainty,

??

Wish I could change more of it,
Wish I could encounter less of it,
Wish I could,
Better handle it,
And,
Regardless of different experiences of those similarly labeled “on the spectrum”..,
I just wish I was never,
“Autistic”,
And I did NOT and do NOT wish to be however I am,
“Neurodivergent”,
..,
And although I may not understand a lot,
I really feel,
I just struggle,
Far more than I need to,
To handle,
A lot,

I just wish,
My energy,
Felt more in sync,
With more,
And/or most of those,
Who,
Surround me,

Although,
(As I often feel to appreciate it),
Many may say and/or imply stuff such as that I have a “good future ahead of me”,
??
Yet,
I always (or often) feel,
That I often feel,
There’s at least some degree,
Of uncertainty,
??
(And sorry if I’m further ruining it by anxiously obsessively over-explaining it),

And yet,
At age 27,
My superstition,
Sometimes,
If not often,
Scares me,

Do I have a set time destiny?
And/or,
Does life energy,
Not care about me,
As it plays out,
(In my present belief),
Unpredictably?

Yet,
I still feel,
Good energy,
May always help me,
Or assist me,
As for wherever,
My form,
(And/or interconnected),
Manifestation,
I may manifest in,

Presently,

??

I feel,
I made it through many hard times,
And as I fear,
(And believe..),
The state of the world is getting harder,
And to me,
Too many,
Are appearing crazier,

I’m back in the best job I presently see fit,
And I’m already assuming,
Many are sad to see me,
And (regardless of actual true intent),
I feel many,
Are just,
Venting,
And/or shit-talking about me,

And although I expect it,
Although I’m “used to it”,
I just struggle,
To “shrug off”,
So much of the pain,
So much,
Of the bullshit,
..,
And it frustrates me,
Frequently,
When I feel I’m insufficiently explaining,
Or however,
Conveying it,

And of course..,
I could be wrong completely,
Yet it’s just,
How I often feel to,
Interpret,
Energy,
..,
Yet,
Guess there’s always some uncertainty(?),

Evidently,
As I believe and/or feel,
To be real,
There’s always that uncertainty,
Always that possibility,
Always that varying amount of unaccessed and/or undeveloped inner capability and/or present ability(?),

Now..,
Not saying I’m worthy of being famous,
Yet since I heard many celebrities,
Who I greatly admire even if I know very little about them,
Passed at 27..,
Such as (if I’m correct),

Amy Winehose,
Jimi Hendrix,
Kurt Cobain,
Jim Morrison,
Janis Joplin,
And whoever else just happened to pass at 27,

(Apologies if I’m using names in vain for an attempt at a fancy new blog post.. yet, I just share what I feel a need to share for whichever forms of intelligence may care (?)),

And even though I feel,
And/or I’d guess,
I’m,
NOT nearly as talented,
Nor am I a musician,
And perhaps may never be a famous person..,

??
(Yeah I largely doubt it..),

And (I guess),
Similar to the theme,
Of that Machine Gun Kelly song called “27” (if I’m correct),

Well,
I just do NOT know,
When (as for the form I’m in now),
Will,

Come to an end,

??

I guess,
There may always be,
A degree,
Of uncertainty,
That’ll,
Always,
Be,

With me,

As for wherever I may,
Or may not,

Be