I feel:
I TOTALLY agree,
That it’s “not just about me”,
I know I’m equally responsible,
And due to my labels I may struggle,
Yet I can NOT be around those,
Who take my bad moments as an opportunity to tell me (stuff such as) that I bring “nothing to the table”,
I try to be “neurotypical”,
I try to go with the flow,
And please others,
And when I may struggle,
When my past trauma might cause some drama,
I’m criticized,
Just criticized for my failures,
And many do NOT offer to join me in efforts,
That’ll (as I believe) ALL help us do better,
Of course,
Although what works for me may not be for everybody(?),
Yet I’m like “how about meditation”,
And some just want to keep getting high off of some type of medication,
And I’ll offer to take a look at a situation,
And have compassionate communication,
And when I have moments that are not perfect,
Many other egos choose to immensely focus on it..,
That just ends up in making me feel bad about it,
Instead of offering helpful suggestions on what to do about it,
Many just want to criticize and have nothing to do about it..,
Well,
As for friends,
I need to be around those who be there for me,
Instead of those who just criticize and abandon me,
When I may not be exuding perfect positivity..,
I need to be around those,
Who also,
Want to look deeply,
And not just try to make up for their own insecurity,
By making me feel bad,
When I don’t peacefully socialize perfectly,
So instead of being told,
“You make others not want to be around you”,
I feel it’ll help me more,
If they would compassionately understand why I struggle the way I do,
I know everyone’s got a struggle,
I know,
Everyone’s got a history,
That may have affected themselves differently,
I know I have equal accountability,
I know everyone must “bring something to the table”,
And I wish I never got bullied,
I wish I never struggled with autism,
I wish characteristics of my label(s) did NOT cause me to be socially NON-likeable,
I wish people were less hurtfully critical and judgmental,
I wish they’d join me in viable,
Inner development efforts,
That may,
For all of us,
Be helpful?
And as for all I struggle to,
“Bring to the table”,
Well,
In some way,
I must say,
I hope my writing has,
At least somewhat,
Been helpful
?
Zach Dana Writing 